the worst week of my life

[pablosmum]

mum was addmitted to hospital last thursday with dehydration. i had to get her out of there fast because her dementia was 100 x worse, she got a chest infection,her legs swelled 4x their size and were leaking water!mum struggles to swallow now. she is a different person to what she was before she went into hospital. i stayed with her all the time, slept in a chair next to her bed. i could not believe the way most of the staff dealt with the patients who have dementia, it was like they were talking to someone without dementia! i felt like saying to them" hello, do you know what dementia is? it means the brain isnt working properly. i am frightened that there may come a time in the future when mum needs medical treatment again. i dont want her to go into hospital again after this dreadfull experience. does anybody know if one can be treated at home instead of going into hopital either with NHS or privately.

[nellbelles]

Hi Pablosmum

Welcome to TP, I think most here have had some bad experiences within the hospital environment, some but I suspect few staff have any understanding of what an admission to hospital means to a dementia patient,

I have no idea if private treatment would be available I hope though that your Mum has improved under your care
Helen

[piedwarbler]

Hello, I'm sorry to hear you have had such a distressing w eek. Training for nurses is not as good as we would wish, is it?
I have written a preferred options for care form for my mum which is on the NHS website. In it Mum has stated that she does not wish to go to hospital. I know this would be her preference.
I wish you lots of peace and comfort xx

[pablosmum]

thanks helen,
i brought mum home 2 days ago.she lives with my sister who is my dads carer and i am my mums carer. i had to beg my sister to take her back as she said both mum and dad need to be in care home. however, she took my dad back ( mum and dad were in hospital together)!! thats another story!! mum looked slightly better today, she had colour in her cheeks, but she still has pnemonia, struggles to swallow and leaking legs. she did recognise though which is wonderfull xx

[pablosmum]

thank you piedwarbler,
i will take a look at that.
i see you are from south ribble, i live near the ribble valley is that the same?
carol

[Pheath]

Sorry to hear you had to undergo such a dreadful experience at hospital with your mum, it sounds horrendous and can see why you're thinking of other options. I know there are private nursing agencies who have specialist nurses with qualifications in mental health nursing that could provide a nurse to come to the home but it might be a question of trawling the internet and ringing around. Guess it would also depend on what sort of intervention your mum requires as there are probably limits as to what they can deal with and also how well her house is adapted. Certainly dressing wounds,administering meds, catheters they could do but am not sure for more major things. So far we've been lucky and dad has never had to endure a hospital stay but have read others' accounts and shudder.

[carastro]

It sounds to me like both your parents need to be in Care, your poor sister having two of them living with her, even though you are mum's carer.

I think at the very least you should be getting some Home Care if only to give yourself and your sister a break and there are Private Agencies around you can pay by the hour. Obviously you will need to have a good chat with them about what sort of Carer you will need (i.e. some-one with Dementia experience).

Carastro

[pablosmum]

the district nurse mentioned something called virtual wards. does anyone know about this?