Mum cannot stop buying food

[Delphie]

Your posts are very similar to what I could also have included. What worries me is the hygiene issues. My mother doesn't seem to recognise the mould on the bread owing to it being in cellophane and sitting in a metal bread bin in warm weather. She even tries to force me to eat mouldy bread!!

I think shopping is my mother's only activity/purpose these days now too, and so when they are bored or looking for human interaction, then this is the only route to take for them.

Tooshie x

Definitely. Same here.

I'm more than slightly amazed that my mum hasn't got ill, living like she does. Apart from the food issue, she doesn't wash and doesn't clean the house. I know that these days we're probably a bit too clean and a bit of dirt won't kill you, but my mum is really pushing the limits and with no ill effects.

[Tooshie]

Definitely. Same here.

I'm more than slightly amazed that my mum hasn't got ill, living like she does. Apart from the food issue, she doesn't wash and doesn't clean the house. I know that these days we're probably a bit too clean and a bit of dirt won't kill you, but my mum is really pushing the limits and with no ill effects.

My Mother has gone down this road too. She was always obsessive about bathing herself and would proudly tell me the minute she could "I've had a good wash down". For heavens sake, why can't their generation just get under the shower? It's easier and quicker too, and you feel sooo much better. And I'm not even going to describe her personal linen in the bathroom

Back to the food issue. Today she has ventured to the local shops for some eggs and of course some frozen microwave chips and frozen sausages(yuck). Struggle to understand why a woman who loves to food shop insists on buying so much processed and frozen food when she could justify going out as often as she felt like it and buying fresh produce? Do I really do think it is a habit thing and reassures her that she still has a purpose and a sense of belonging in normal society.

But can anyone offer an explanation for this 'food related' habit...

She has always chewed gum - ever since I can remember. In the last few years I began to notice the odd ball of (chewed) gum on the end of a glass dish on a windowsill. In the last year or so, it is frequently found in it's chewed state....on top of the microwave!!?!! And I've actually seen her pop it back into her mouth after lunch After a few torchings from her following my attempts to tell her how unhygienic this is, I have given up and simply close my eyes. But Lord knows she isn't short of a bob or two, certainly doesn't need to save chewing gum for later (or for that matter wash kitchen foil and re-use it! Maybe she's been a chick ahead of her time - the ultimate recycle queen )

sorry if you are all feeling sick now.

[Delphie]

Just a bit.

[Tooshie]

Just a bit.

So sorry"

[Delphie]

That's ok. I can get my own back by telling you that when (if!) my mum washes up her mugs she uses her toothbrush.

[Tooshie]

That's 'normal' isn't it??? Ha ha.

The thread of this post was about people being unable to stop buying food. The next natural question therefore must be

"What do these food collectors do to dispose of food"?

And here is your starter for 10...

Mine flushes her unwanted food and leftovers down the loo - straight from the pan!

Tooshie x

[Amber31]

My mum puts everything down the loo, for some reason the kitchen bin isn't the place to put food. I try and stop her she blocked it once already.

It's the tea bags she has a problem with they don't flush away so she gets them out comes and finds me with wet soggy tea bag dangling in hand to tell me it wont go down the loo.

[Tooshie]

My mum puts everything down the loo, for some reason the kitchen bin isn't the place to put food. I try and stop her she blocked it once already.

It's the tea bags she has a problem with they don't flush away so she gets them out comes and finds me with wet soggy tea bag dangling in hand to tell me it wont go down the loo.

Yes, I've been there too! I think my Mother takes 'exception' to the smell of rotting food in an ENORMOUS petal bin, kindly given to her by her thoughtless and selfless (not) sister who was throwing it out - both clearly hate household waste. My Mother doesn't want bad smells in her kitchen from food, - but it's okay to have smells from blocked sinks and waste pipes with potatoes and half chickens, isn't it?

So back to the drawing board about overcoming the problem of excessive purchasing of food.... What about simply telling them that their chosen supermarket is extortionate on pricing? They hate wasting MONEY, and think £5 is a fortune?

[Tooshie]

Well well. Last night a huge pan of mincemeat and onions was boiled up and thickened (for her lunch tomorrow). And it's sat on the top of the crumbling and dangerous cooker which she won't part with.

Then she defrosted and cooked a leg of lamb for lunch today. Far too large - but that's for 'cold warmed up tomorrow'. She's going to feel a bit stuffed then. Lots of extra vegetables cooked, and leftover gravy is sitting gathering cultures on the bench. No point me trying to educate her about hygiene - we've already covered that off.

I definitely think this is a protection mechanism. I think my mother thinks she'll starve to death unless there is an abundance of food to hand. The food has to be prepared in precisely the way her mother used to do it, but she never gets it as good as my Gran did. And everything in Grandma's was kept in the pantry on the cold shelf or in the fridge (when she eventually owned one).

Sound familiary to anyone?

Tooshie x

[Delphie]

That's 'normal' isn't it??? Ha ha.

The thread of this post was about people being unable to stop buying food. The next natural question therefore must be

"What do these food collectors do to dispose of food"?

And here is your starter for 10...

Mine flushes her unwanted food and leftovers down the loo - straight from the pan!

Tooshie x

My mum doesn't really dispose of it, she just redistributes it around the house and it stays there until I manage to take it away. This is especially true for apples and bread. There are often several loaves in her bedroom, some more in the spare bedroom, apples on the floor in various corners. The house has a really horrible smell in general, so it's hard to track down the worst offenders.

I've tried suggesting fruit bowls but the apples are on the floor to keep them cool apparently, and the bread is being kept for 'extra' (we never get down to what that actually means). The best way to get stuff off her is to say I've not had time to shop so how about I take <insert whatever looks the most rotten> because it'll save me a trip to Tesco. She can be very generous at times! Unfortunately, she's often in a very bad mood with me over something imagined and then I'm not allowed anything.

[Tooshie]

Unfortunately, she's often in a very bad mood with me over something imagined and then I'm not allowed anything.

I so know how you feel....

[woohoofoo]

Hi

Is it possible to freeze some of the items that your Mum puts in the fridge if you go and visit after a recent shopping spree? This would drive me crazy as I can't stand wasted food, just one of my foibles I know it's not a solution but it may prevent some of the waste. Also if she buys too much of things that are of use to you would she allow you to give her something for them? Just trying to think of little things that might help.

SueJ, I hope someone comes up with some ideas that might help, I can only think of the freezer option again, sorry

Mums freezer is absolutely choca block full! You couldn't squeeze a pea in their if you needed to, but that is a very good point. Thankyou xx

[woohoofoo]

Hi Everyone,

Thankyou so very much for all these tips and advice. There are certainly some nuggets I can take away from this and try and get a plan of action going.
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou! xx

[woohoofoo]

My mum is totally obsessed with wanting to buy food, doesn't matter how much she has its never the right kind of food and its never enough. It seems to be the one thing that continually worries her, well apart from not having any money but that's another story. I throw food away and clean out the fridge on a weekly basis. Mum still goes dial a ride with a friend but I know that sooner or later she will have to stop going. She'll comes back with tubs of butter, numerous boxes of tea, dishwasher tablets and cream cakes. Before Christmas she came home with her shopping and someone else's, I spent most of the evening trying to work out what belonged to mum and what belonged to the lady over the road.

I don't know if this would work for you but you I've started to take mum shopping on a Sunday. We go to M&S and have a coffee then go food shopping which she thinks is very important. I always tell her that I'm going anyway and that its easier if we go together. When I first started taking her I did get stressed because mum would tell the checkout lady the food didn't belong to her and she that she didn't know where it came from but now I've got it down to a fine art. Mum puts food in the trolley and when she's not looking I take it out. She can't remember what she's put in it so as long as she doesn't see me take it out it seems to work. We only buy what she needs, and we only have the odd comment at the checkout about where did those biscuits come from!

Hiya,
That is a great idea about taking the food out of the trolley while she's not looking, you might have saved me! Thankyou x

[woohoofoo]

That's 'normal' isn't it??? Ha ha.

The thread of this post was about people being unable to stop buying food. The next natural question therefore must be

"What do these food collectors do to dispose of food"?

And here is your starter for 10...

Mine flushes her unwanted food and leftovers down the loo - straight from the pan!

Tooshie x

Ah Tooshie, you hit the nail on the head..........all the peas from the saucepan went straight down the toilet yesterday. I'm sooo glad I'm not on my own here, thankyou!