Well best interests meeting yesterday, in attendance SS, CPN, Trainee CPN, 4 x Doctors from out of area hospital, OH and me! So 4 vs 5

We really didn't get much say in the matter. Ward doctor had a bit of a rant about how slow the system was in West Sussex, obviously East Sussex are far superior. SW on first meeting decided that Mum was in need of EMI care . We have always been lead to believe that Mum really wasn't that bad and I was making a mountain out of a molehill.. After that conversation I have felt guilty for months. I was made to feel a failure, pathetic at not being able to cope.

In reality I had coped with a lot more than I thought I would or could. I m not sure I knew what I was taking on, Mum was my Best Friend and would very soon become my enemy. She became the very opposite of what she had been my whole life. Everything she brought me up to respect she destroyed over the past few years. My beautiful, mild-mannered, introverted, smart, funny, forgiving and gentle Mum has become an angry, hostile, rude, embarassing and violent person that I no longer knew

My OH and I have suffered, depression, anxiety, stress, pleurisy, possible ulcer, heartburn, insomnia, alcoholism and friend-avoidance over the past 15 months... We no longer have a social life, suddenly we appear tohave somthing nasty and unspeakable, what we actually have is a big heart to love someone who needed extra support.

Sorry for the rant guys, looks like Mum will move into her future home next wekend, we will make the transition as smooth as we can, she will be close to home and Iam looking forward to re-building my relationship with my Mum. I love her so much, but over recent months I haven't liked the person she has become.

Many of you have walked this path already, I am sorry I haven't been here much recently, but honestly I have been enjoying being a wife and Mum again. I am gonna need your support over the next few weeks/months without you allI probably wouldn't have got this far

Jan