What next?

[Adela]

I am not posting this because I am seeking sympathy but because I want information . My husband was diagnosed with mixed dementia 15months ago and although he is aware of this he does not accept that there is anything wrong with him. He is sure that the scan results were mixed up and that he has been forced to mix with "....... idiots" (his words not mine) because of the mistake. He is drinink spirits every day and gets more aggressive loud and foul mouthed and angry every day the day.

If I ask for another psychiatric consultation what will be the likely result. If I ask his scocial worker what can he do. Can they stop him drinking or will they stop the aricept?

Can anyone here give me the benefit of their experience. I feel more like a jailer than a wife.

Adela

[chucky]

Hi Adela, no one but your husband himself can stop him drinking, if hes going to do it who's going to stop him. I think it sounds like hes in denial and using alchohol to banish it from his thoughts. You could ask for a second opinion but what good that would do should the result be the same. I dont know about meds etc but there are others here at TP who have people with alchohol issues and dementia so im sure someone will be along soon to share their advice. As for his aggression you really need to find a way to shut it out and try not to let it get to you, i know thats hard, my dad was aggressive with me at the beginning. I found i was better walking out the room for a while till the mood passed and then went back in as if nothings happened, usually by that time the aggressive stance had diminished. The only other thing is to cut off the supply of alchohol, if he cant go for it you could refuse to buy it but that would likely be another source of contention so i'd be wary how you execute it. I used to water it down so it wasnt as potent and therefore it took longer to get drunk, you could try that.

[Adela]

I wish that I could dilute the alcohol or stop his access but he is more mobile than I am and able to go out to shops with his mobility scooter. He has started to visit the off licence and drinks BEFORE coming home. He is rarely sober when he comes in and stays out for hours.

Every week day I have to go to a hospital about 20 miles away for radiotherapy and as I travel by patient transpotrt ambulance about 5 hours. Obviously this is not ideal for him bt I have no choice. He is usually drink when I get back and I just don't know what to do for the best.

He is clearly mentally ill and I don't doubt the diagnosis myself ablthough I know it is accompanied by depression. But this degree of abusive aggressive behaviour is quite severe. and difficult to take.

[Christin]

Hello Adela, I am so sorry to read your post. I have read posts from other members who are trying to limit the amount of alcohol people drink, and yes, it really has to come down to your husband.

In my own opinion, I would speak to the social worker. Most of all, please remember you do not have to put up with abuse.

Maybe this info will be of some help

Alcohol Concern

The national agency on alcohol misuse. Works to reduce the incidence and costs of alcohol-related harm, and to increase the range and quality of services available to people with alcohol-related problems.

For help and advice, contact the national drink helpline - Drinkline: 0800 917 8282

For general information about alcohol harm and alcohol services, the Alcohol Concern website is a good place to start.

E contact@alcoholconcern.org.uk

W www.alcoholconcern.org.uk


Or if you prefer you could contact the AS National Helpline and speak to an advisor.

Very best wishes to you.

[lin1]

Hello
I think you should speak to your husbands consultant about the agression
your husband may need to be prescribed some medication they also need to be made aware of husbands drinking as it could impinge on what meds they can give him.

If your husband is violent towards you then they definately need to know this urgently

I cant see how you can stop your husband drinking , some here have have been able to water down the alcohol but as your husband can go out n comes home tipsey .....
Maybe you could ask the offlicence etc not to sell any to him but I dont know how being told no in the shop would affect your husband or if they would be willing to refuse him

sorry I cant be of more help, hopefully others will be along with better idea's suggestions

I have just had a thought, Admiral nurses,sadly Its unlikely you have one in your area as they r are few n far between BUT they do Have a national helpline

http://www.dementiauk.org/what-we-do...ursing-direct/

[Adela]

Thank you both. I will take up all four suggestions.
Adela