Vascular dementia final stages

[Pon]

Hi
This is my 1st chance to start a thread
My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 2 years ago and since then has had 2small stokes that have left him with vascular dementia and already he is starting the final stages I cannot believe how quickly heis deteriorating it's daily now. Nearly 4years ago I had breast cancer but last summer I started having pain under my breast on the same side as the operation but I was so busy caring for John I didn't have the time to go to the doctor about it then once I had a carer coming to shower and dress him I told the doctor and yesterday I went for the results of my bone scan and they said they were 99percent sure that he cancer hasn't returned but want to do a ct scan just to double check but the bone scan showed I have 4 broken ribs I think due to fall last june
Going back to John this afternoon the specialist ahas prescribed depression tablets for him as hes in a terrible state searching for knives to slit his throat and 7pm last night we were in the kitchen and John was wiping a dish and my son rang up just to say he had got home ok after taking me to the hospital I was only on the phone for 1 minute and when I went back to the kitchen he has turned on a gas jet without lighting it he has lost his sight as well and you have to watch where he is going to sit . Please keep your fingers crossed for me that the depression tabs will work and at least the suicidal thoughts disappear

[Pon]

I forgot to tell you John is only 69 and has been diabetic for about 38 years and I inject his insulin as well as care for him it's a tough life isn't it I know you will all say it's not a 24 year job it's a 48 hour job I thought when I retired from a 12 hour a day job that I could relax
No chance


pon

[Grannie G]

Do you have any help with your husband. It sounds as if you really need it. It also sounds as if he needs something stronger than antidepressants. He is a danger to himself and to you as well. Does his doctor know how challenging his behaviour is?

Have you had a carers assessment?

I cannot believe you have suffered untreated broken ribs, you must have been in agony.

I hope you will be able to keep posting Pon. At least you will get some support here. xx

[bunnies]

Hi
....Going back to John this afternoon the specialist ahas prescribed depression tablets for him as hes in a terrible state searching for knives to slit his throat ....

I agree with GrannyG - it does sound like your husband needs more help than depression tablets. Unfortunately it is down to you to explain to people how he is at home. It must be a terrible pressure on you, and managing his insulin levels at the same time must be extremely difficult. If it was me, I would be on the phone to his GP demanding more attention to the problems you are facing. As a patient with both diabetes (type 1 assume?) and dementia, the GP should be there keeping a close eye on this situation and recommending what should be done.

[Pon]

Do you have any help with your husband. It sounds as if you really need it. It also sounds as if he needs something stronger than antidepressants. He is a danger to himself and to you as well. Does his doctor know how challenging his behaviour is?

Have you had a carers assessment?

I cannot believe you have suffered untreated broken ribs, you must have been in agony.

I hope you will be able to keep posting Pon. At least you will get some support here. xx

thanks for such a speedy reply he has been assessed and as well as showering and dressing we were having a carer twice a week to take him for a walk as I walk gingery with a stick. The memory clinic and the doctor know our situation and the social worker is on hols but when she comes back she is calling with her supervisor on the 10th may he has deteriorated so rapidly that he is not well enough to start 2day day centre that we were waiting on the list for and all the respite homes are full but hey ho I'll
Bite the bullet and carry on

Thanks again

Pon

[Pon]

sorry I was so relieve my cancer had not returned I forgot about my pain I still cannot lay on my left side in bed apparently the radio therapy thins the bone and you are more cesseptical to braking bones
Pon

[Grannie G]

Pon if you have any really big worry about your husband, if ever you are frightened of him, please phone the police.

I was told to do this when my husband became aggressive. I never had to but it was comforting to know I could.

The police will not be horrible to your husband, they will not treat him like a criminal because they will understand he is ill. But they will help you.

[Pon]

Pon if you have any really big worry about your husband, if ever you are frightened of him, please phone the police.

I was told to do this when my husband became aggressive. I never had to but it was comforting to know I could.

The police will not be horrible to your husband, they will not treat him like a criminal because they will understand he is ill. But they will help you.

Thanks very much for this advise it's always good to have a little extra in the toolbag
Pon

[Pon]

I agree with GrannyG - it does sound like your husband needs more help than depression tablets. Unfortunately it is down to you to explain to people how he is at home. It must be a terrible pressure on you, and managing his insulin levels at the same time must be extremely difficult. If it was me, I would be on the phone to his GP demanding more attention to the problems you are facing. As a patient with both diabetes (type 1 assume?) and dementia, the GP should be there keeping a close eye on this situation and recommending what should be done.

I have been keeping a diary of happenings and passed them on to the phyc nurses that come to John and to be fair since the knife incident hey have been ringing every morning and calling every afternoon my 2 sons are marvellous at ringing although they
Live at a distance they know instantly when there is something wrong here
But I will take all your advice on board and will be pestering the GP if these tabs don't work

Pon

[willingdonkey]

what a terrible time your having, please take time (easier said than done i know), to look after your own health, and I hope you get as much help as you are entitled to I too am astonished you have endured four broken ribs without knowing. The desperation and sadness dementia brings is heart breaking to witness, I hope you have some support at least from family, I look after my mother who has vascular dementia she is 85, I find it mentally and physically exhausting and she is at a pretty good place at the min, and I have two sisters who share the caring, I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be a lone carer, take care x

[Pon]

what a terrible time your having, please take time (easier said than done i know), to look after your own health, and I hope you get as much help as you are entitled to I too am astonished you have endured four broken ribs without knowing. The desperation and sadness dementia brings is heart breaking to witness, I hope you have some support at least from family, I look after my mother who has vascular dementia she is 85, I find it mentally and physically exhausting and she is at a pretty good place at the min, and I have two sisters who share the caring, I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be a lone carer, take care x

Well I expect all of you understand what a relief it is to talk to other human beings I took your comments on board and rang the memory clinic and told them that I could no longer cope on my own no success here though he just said the tablets would take 3days to kick in it took me 3/4 hour to actually get John into bed after undressing him last night as he said there were all insects crawling on the bedroom floor

I thought I've had enough of being ignored so I rang social services and johns social worker is on holiday so the on call one came if he was 21 he wasn't a day old
He came in looked at my diary of major events 3double sided pages since last Saturday
He said what do you want I said what I want is professional advice as to what I can have
Silence then he said well what do you want so at this point I started my rag and said what's the point of having a care assessment if I'm the only person keeping to their part in it I said John has deteriorated greatly since in was done in January and the help I was told I was going to receive hasn't materialised at all so 3 hours later he agreed to having a carer to get John ready for bed as well as in the morning to chase up the e days a week daycare and the 2 hours twice a week to be a sit in so that I can do the shopping
Because John is not well enough to go for walks. He said do you like shopping I said no I don't so he said have you thought of Internet shopping I said I have but I'm putting that of till the bitter end as I'm isolated enough as it is I could write pages of my rantings to him but thank you all for stirring me one
John this morning has become incontinent so I went on to age concern on the web and ordered mattress cover should be here tomorrow
Thanks again
Pon

[Grannie G]

it took me 3/4 hour to actually get John into bed after undressing him last night as he said there were all insects crawling on the bedroom floor

I doubt antidepressants will get rid of the insects Pon. This isn`t fair to John and isn`t fair to you.

The SW is not a doctor. If the mental health team cannot help I would get on to the consultant. No one should have to live with such frightening hallucinations.

[BeckyJan]

Hello Pon,
I have not been around much the past few days but I am so pleased you have such support here.

It seems that someone in your situation will only be heard by support services if you shout loudly and complain alot. Please keep pestering everyone so that they know how difficult things are for you.

I am so sorry you are having this to cope with - so very hard but many here will understand.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are getting along. TP does help when we feel so isolated.
Best wishes

[Pon]

Hello Pon,
I have not been around much the past few days but I am so pleased you have such support here.

It seems that someone in your situation will only be heard by support services if you shout loudly and complain alot. Please keep pestering everyone so that they know how difficult things are for you.

I am so sorry you are having this to cope with - so very hard but many here will understand.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are getting along. TP does help when we feel so isolated.
Best wishes

Thanks so much for your help I really appreciate it and the help everyone has given me since I had time to contact you
Love to all hope all goes as well as possible for all

Pon

[bunnies]

I was thinking about your husband's problems, and I wondering if any of them could be related to low blood sugar? That should at least be ruled out as a cause before looking at other medication. I find it hard to imagine how you manage to inject him several times a day, and test his blood sugar levels - that must be extremely hard. Low blood sugar levels can cause hallucinations such as you describe, and lots of other very off behaviour.