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  1. #1
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    Flat cleaned out and keys handed back

    My husband and I removed the last of mum's things from her sheltered housing flat tonight. Must admit I'm pretty sore with all the cleaning but what could we do. We couldn't just leave it. Given that mum was only living there 2 months and I was cleaning it most days up until the last couple of weeks I am amazed how dirty it became in those last 2 weeks. I posted the keys through the door of the manager's office so I guess that's another chapter closed. It felt really odd packing up all her stuff that she no longer needs - like kitchen stuff. I gave it all away to our church who have a department that helps those in need so at least some good can come of this mess. No matter how you look at it, it is sad that her whole worldly possessions are now in her room in the care home.

    I feel quite sad. I had such high hopes when over the Christmas holidays I had found her the flat. My husband and I put so much effort into setting it up nice for her. We really did think she would be ok there for a few years. Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine it would go so bad so quick.

    As we were taking stuff to the car earlier we met the man who lived in the next flat. He said that while he was sorry to see mum go he was glad she was safe. He went on to tell us about seeing mum almost get knocked down. He also said he noticed her acting strange on a few occasions around the complex. Apparently she was quite off with him at times too. My mum being off with someone!!! Well I never, and her such a sweet old dear!!!! Sorry my sense of humour is all that keeps me going at times.

    My husband keeps telling me mum brought this all on herself and that I shouldn't feel bad. Deep down i know he's right. If mum had cooperated with the carers and agreed not to leave the complex on her own she would have been able to stay there a while longer. However her stubborness and unwillingness to comply with anyone else's wishes have been her own downfall. I think it was on Babypie's thread recently that someone wrote about reaping what you sow and it struck a chord with me. Mum has been selfish and wanted her own way for as long as I can remember. Her favourite saying was the only person I please is myself.

    I only hope she will settle down in the care home. She hasn't insulted me for over a week but has started on my uncle and her sister (the london one). Apparently mum is now ringing her asking her when she is coming to take her to London. Auntie is quite panicked but I think it is again reaping what she sowed. She wound mum up with silly tales, now she's reaping the rewards.

    Isabella.
     

  2. #2
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    Know what you mean about reaping what you sow. With my mum it was more "be careful what you wish for".

    My stepdad turned cartwheels to keep her happy, was never good enough.

    After he died 12yrs ago, mum would tell everyone she spoke to " I said to him, Why don't you do us all a favour and die & he did" This was followed with a gale of laughter like it was the funniest thing ever said. She never noticed the looks that she got. Now she's moaning because she hasn't got a man to look after her & it's not fair!!

    Anyway, well done for sorting the flat, it's not an easy job is it, but it's one less worry.

    Take care

    Lin x
     

  3. #3
    When I think about how your aunt's "interventions" have caused you so much stress, I must admit to a wry smile when you say "mum is now ringing her asking her when she is coming to take her to London." Ha - serves her right.
    Jennifer

    Volunteer moderator and former long distance carer.

    A test of a people is how it behaves toward the old. It is easy to love children. Even tyrants and dictators make a point of being fond of children. But the affection and care for the old, the incurable, the helpless are the true gold mines of a culture.

    Abraham J. Heschel
     

  4. #4
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    Thumbs up

    Well done on sorting the flat Isabella now take it easy for a while and let the home sort your mother out on a daily basis until you feel up to visiting.

    I must admit I had to smile about your Aunt - be careful what you wish for I recon
     

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Isabella41 View Post

    Apparently mum is now ringing her asking her when she is coming to take her to London. Auntie is quite panicked but I think it is again reaping what she sowed. She wound mum up with silly tales, now she's reaping the rewards.
    If you plant in idea in someone with AD's head watch out as you never know what will happen. Great that your aunt is now getting a dose of her own medicine. I am sorry for your uncle though.

    Lemony xx


    When life gives you lemons make lemonade.
     

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isabella41 View Post
    Apparently mum is now ringing her asking her when she is coming to take her to London. Auntie is quite panicked but I think it is again reaping what she sowed. She wound mum up with silly tales, now she's reaping the rewards.
    Loved that bit too Hopefully the word will spread around the family that's it's best to butt out.
     

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chemmy View Post
    Loved that bit too Hopefully the word will spread around the family that's it's best to butt out.
    Butt out of putting ideas into mums head, but hopefully butt in with more support for you - a listening ear is such a godsend.

    Xx
    To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone - Reba McEntire
    If only it was that easy - 2jays
     

 

 

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