Read this..and be warned..act 2

[milomia]

Well well well, and so we begin...lots happened, Dad still in an assessment ward, still in a state of "delirium", still doubly incontinant, still a bit aggressive and reluctant to be cleaned and dressed, but recieving very good care. Complaints letters gone out. Went around a few EMI Nursing Homes yesterday...still in a bit of shockCan't bear the thought of him going into any of them to be honest. Can't get to grips that we have failed him, and so have the NHS...anger an understatement. And so to the dreaded DST meeting....to be honest they had made up their minds before we even sat down...the guy they were talking about ( my Dad ) must be somewhere else in the ward cos it wasn't the guy we went to visit....So I said " you basically have to be paralised with a tube feeding you before you get any continuing care paid for then"?...All looked at each other blankly...why is it that because you are a good pen pusher you don't feel you have to have any people skills....amazes me.. So it was a NO to any funding except the £108.00....well we have decided if he is that well, and looks to them he will improve in time....we will take him home and try again....cos I am reluctant to put him into anywhere for a grand a week when we can give him another go in his own home and try to pay for private care. We are still going for the jugular with the NHS staff that held my Dad down in the "elderly care ward" ( must get in touch with Trading standards for that one) ...and my letter to Mr Cameron is a blinder...will be posting that before the weekend.....so more meetings to come, and they aint gonna like what we have to say at the next one....seem to upset the guy from the pct when I told him if I got Dementia I would rather shoot myself than to go into (that) Hospital....lets face it they have it coming. We are the laughing stock of most of Europe with the way we treat our Elderly and most of all our Dementia and Alzheimers patients....Shameful.

[PeggySmith]

Go for the jugular

This is all entirely new to me and I can't believe what I'm seeing and hearing both on here and at (the very good in terms of direct care) hospital my mother-in-law's in.

[milomia]

I don't condemn all Hospitals, and I am sure there are very good "elderly care wards" in alot of Hospitals around the country...but the one my Dad had to go into for constipation has both failed him and us in a very big way....and we will never get over it....but it resulted in 5 of them holding him down to get a catheter back into him...resulting in a massive vascular break and it has sent him into a state of Delirium..So the singing dancing man we sent in has come out with double incontinance, shuffles along, and can hardly talk..oh and a stone and a half lighter......so by being on a site like this we get to hear and listen to what has happened to other families around the country...and support them in their fight and quest for better care, more funds, and just to listen to the bad days.

[keywest67]

Hi

My Dad is currently in an assesment ward however as he has been so confused with no real understanding as to why he was there or what he was being treated for, plus a few agressive incidents where he lashed out at staff and patients he was put under a section 2, he is now on Ebixa and much improved over the past couple of weeks and so although they were going to give him a section 3 they have decided not to.

From your message i find it hard to comprehend how one assesment centre can differ so much from another!!

Does your Dad understand where he is and what he is being treated for? i understand that centres are cautious when giving out section 3 to anyone as it means they have to pay for all ongoing care.

You say your Dad is being treated for Delerium and double incontinent, it does not seem right that your not getting more support for his care financially, have you tried PALS?
It sounds to me like you have probably got all the bases covered and i hear how angry you are at your dads treatment and quite rightly so, its just so unfair how our loved ones with dementia get treated in the country and the lack of basic assistance both financially and support which is required for us to care for them at home.
keep up the fight and wishing you best wishes x

[SWMBO1950]

Hi

I complained about my mothers treatment or should that be lackof treatment last year in the local hospital (or should that be hell hole). Their response was laughable full of inaccuracies and down right untruths. Unfortunately for them I had worked in NHS complains a few year ago so know how to counter respond. I did not want to get into protracted correspondence and although they offered a meeting with senior ward staff I (on this occasion) decided I had wasted enough energy on it. My main purpose was to let them know that I was aware of their dreadful attitude to the elderly with dementia. I later received a survery asking me if I was satisfied with the outcome of my complaint - I'll let you guess what my response was (you could not make it up)!!

[Coletta]

I don't condemn all Hospitals, and I am sure there are very good "elderly care wards" in alot of Hospitals around the country...but the one my Dad had to go into for constipation has both failed him and us in a very big way....and we will never get over it....but it resulted in 5 of them holding him down to get a catheter back into him...resulting in a massive vascular break and it has sent him into a state of Delirium..So the singing dancing man we sent in has come out with double incontinance, shuffles along, and can hardly talk..oh and a stone and a half lighter......so by being on a site like this we get to hear and listen to what has happened to other families around the country...and support them in their fight and quest for better care, more funds, and just to listen to the bad days.

Im really sorry to read about what has happened to your poor dad. They are terrible consequences of constipation and a reminder to us all 'to keep on top of it' and to seek help early.
Was your dad understanding what they were trying to do? I expect not, why was he not given sedation to help him to lie still!!
My son has been a kidney patient all his life and a big change in his condition last month meant he suffered complete retention several times, resulting in emergency situations, during which he had to be catheterised. The nurse couldn't do it, the Dr. couldn't either, then the urologist had to be called. He was in agony as they were trying as quickly as possible to insert this catheter, causing damage internally similar to your dad. Back pressure on the kidneys can lead to kidney failure so sadly, I can see why staff tried to be quick and he had to be held down so that the Dr. could do his job without causing trauma. Why, o why don't they always sedate dementia patients, if their bladders are full they are going to be in pain and not lie still!
I do hope your dad will physically recover and then improve in other ways as well. I do feel for you all.

Coletta xx

[Mun]

milomia,

Whoop ! whoop !
milomia MP for the rights & dignity of dementia sufferers.
Love it
Val x

[milomia]

I don't always post on here, but my god I read it ALOT....I cry and I laugh..thankfully all in the right places But I will say...I was naive to all the failures, the lack of care, the dismissal of the problems the Elderly and infirm are having in this country....It is only when it is happening to you that it dawns on you how bad it is...My Dad was held down on Easter sunday by a gang of nurses that decided the best way to get the catheter in was to force it in themselves...no male Doctor was called...Easter weekend...don't bother the docs by any chance We had asked on numerous occassions for a Psyche consultation as we could see him getting worse, we asked for a sedative...not allowed, didn't believe in giving them...when he had said no to meds..it was classed as NO...when he said no to a wash...it was classed as NO, tea, food, drinks, a bath, a shave...( it transpires now this is how they have to do it as it infringes on his human rights if your force him) So why then when he had pulled his catheter out (causing trauma and pain) that when he said no...they assaulted him...his feet and ankles were already covered in bruises..he had been restrained a few times we think....I am a salesperson, a promoter... I love people..( dogs more as I've got older ) But I could run those wards with my eyes shut....where has the "care" gone...the human nature to protect an elderly and vulnerable person, our elders, our parents for gods sake..My Dad does not know where he is, or why, he does not have any understanding anymore..but only scored a moderate on the "score" sheet today for that....he leaks constantly through his pads, he has to be washed and checked every 3 hours, but they wanted to mark that as moderate too...absolute madness....also is "agitated" when approached to be washed. So why then is he covered in bruises...because the staff have to fend off his punches, and he stamps on them and kicks them....moderate again.....oh well...back to the drawing board....but I tell you this..they aint getting his hard earned money....hell will freeze over first....It will be back home first....we know we will have a fight now, because they want to call all the shots...but you know what...he is OUR DAD ...not a number, not another expense....OURS....so sod em. keep yer posted my supportive mates. mwahhhhhh to you all. xxxx

[SWMBO1950]

Your fathers treatment is cruel in the least and your comment 'he is our dad - not a number' is exactly how I feel about my mum.

No one has their best interests at heart more than their family, but often that is not taken into consideration and you are considered to be interfering!

No wonder your dad fights back - he deos not know where he is or why - he must feel like he is being attacked (which in real terms he is) - poor man

Keep fighting for your Dads rights and I so hope you get something sorted for him to be out of his current 'home' or should that be 'hell hole'??

Very Best Wishes xx

I don't always post on here, but my god I read it ALOT....I cry and I laugh..thankfully all in the right places But I will say...I was naive to all the failures, the lack of care, the dismissal of the problems the Elderly and infirm are having in this country....It is only when it is happening to you that it dawns on you how bad it is...My Dad was held down on Easter sunday by a gang of nurses that decided the best way to get the catheter in was to force it in themselves...no male Doctor was called...Easter weekend...don't bother the docs by any chance We had asked on numerous occassions for a Psyche consultation as we could see him getting worse, we asked for a sedative...not allowed, didn't believe in giving them...when he had said no to meds..it was classed as NO...when he said no to a wash...it was classed as NO, tea, food, drinks, a bath, a shave...( it transpires now this is how they have to do it as it infringes on his human rights if your force him) So why then when he had pulled his catheter out (causing trauma and pain) that when he said no...they assaulted him...his feet and ankles were already covered in bruises..he had been restrained a few times we think....I am a salesperson, a promoter... I love people..( dogs more as I've got older ) But I could run those wards with my eyes shut....where has the "care" gone...the human nature to protect an elderly and vulnerable person, our elders, our parents for gods sake..My Dad does not know where he is, or why, he does not have any understanding anymore..but only scored a moderate on the "score" sheet today for that....he leaks constantly through his pads, he has to be washed and checked every 3 hours, but they wanted to mark that as moderate too...absolute madness....also is "agitated" when approached to be washed. So why then is he covered in bruises...because the staff have to fend off his punches, and he stamps on them and kicks them....moderate again.....oh well...back to the drawing board....but I tell you this..they aint getting his hard earned money....hell will freeze over first....It will be back home first....we know we will have a fight now, because they want to call all the shots...but you know what...he is OUR DAD ...not a number, not another expense....OURS....so sod em. keep yer posted my supportive mates. mwahhhhhh to you all. xxxx