My gran is 91 and has trouble walking and taking care of herself. She has severe pain from arthritis, poor eyesight and poor vision.
Four years ago we were told she was suffering from some form of dementia as she was starting to see people in the house, hear things and was convincing herself the house was bugged and people were listening through the TV. This was medicated and things settled for a while but the family still believed that she was seeing or hearing things but was keeping this very much quiet
Last year we had another episode where she fell and then began seeing people. This was linked to a change in medication but the hospital at the time told her she was in need of care. This was arranged free of charge for six weeks then she flatly refused to continue once she was having to pay
Since then myself and my aunt have been sole carers. She can dress slowly if clothes are put out, has poor standards of personal hygiene (bath upstairs but no access to it and cannot stand to wash) and can make microwave meals
My aunt is 65 and having problems with control of diabetes. I am 44 and work full time as well as being carer for a disabled daughter. She will not allow any other family members to care for her
Recently she has become extremely demanding asking us to come down several times a day to rub cream into her legs, move sheds, do washing etc.... this culminated with a call from telecare telling me to ring her as she couldnt get in touch. I found the phone disconnected and gran convinced there were animals, 6 adults 2 children wearing flowers and numerous other strange sights in the house. She had tried to get out to remove them and become upset so had unplugged the phone from the proprty.
She told the on-call doctor about this but since admission to hospital will not discuss this any further although she has seen cars and decorators in her room
Hospital say she is medically OK to be released but want a care assessment. Gran has totally refsed to have care and says she will not pay and will not accept help. We have tried to convince her of the benefits but she stubbornly refuses and will wash and dress before they arrive to prove a point. Social services tell us that if we refuse to care and so does she they are powerless to step in so we are left not knowing what way to go next
She is still having episodes but will not tell hospital staff so they think we are basically exaggerating the situation
Neither myself or my aunt mind providing soe care but this is becomming increasingly challenging and for the main part gran does seem competent of decision making
Has anyone experienced something similar and have any ideas as to how to address the situation
Many thanks in advance