..the one my mother went into temporarily was old fashioned, a converted mansion type place, a bit tatty, not purpose built and on two levels. I chose it in a hurry I admit, so I was a bit uncomfortable. Among my concerns were the total lack of activities.
However, the care has been second to none, the unit manager has warmed to us and us to her, all the carers have got to know my mum, I've learned that the laundry needs time to come back and items do turn up eventually when they go missing. The activities person had just gone on maternity leave and now they have the most wonderful replacement with whom I am friends...my mum's enjoying the hairdressing, the food, the warmth, the peace, the view from her window and frankly, although she is coming home, I'm unsure if it's quite the right decision
My advice would be to allow some settling time in any home, to try to fit in, to give and not to take at all levels and understand what a truly difficult condition dementia is to manage on masse!
Nobody needs to be frightened of a good care home, it's high time the image of them were changed in this country!