Shouldn't be too quick to judge a care home

[KAnne]

..the one my mother went into temporarily was old fashioned, a converted mansion type place, a bit tatty, not purpose built and on two levels. I chose it in a hurry I admit, so I was a bit uncomfortable. Among my concerns were the total lack of activities.
However, the care has been second to none, the unit manager has warmed to us and us to her, all the carers have got to know my mum, I've learned that the laundry needs time to come back and items do turn up eventually when they go missing. The activities person had just gone on maternity leave and now they have the most wonderful replacement with whom I am friends...my mum's enjoying the hairdressing, the food, the warmth, the peace, the view from her window and frankly, although she is coming home, I'm unsure if it's quite the right decision

My advice would be to allow some settling time in any home, to try to fit in, to give and not to take at all levels and understand what a truly difficult condition dementia is to manage on masse!

Nobody needs to be frightened of a good care home, it's high time the image of them were changed in this country!

[craftyviola]

I quite agree KAnne. The most modern state of the art places are no good unless there is a manager with whom you can have an open dialogue and whose staff respect your Mum. I too was worried about the little amount activities when I had my Mum admitted two months ago but what matters is that there is the compassion and understanding which I am finding hard to spot where she is now on a post operative hospital ward. (See my post "Mum's had a fall and broken her hip") I find the lack of training in basic understanding of dementia hard to fathom with all the publicity we hear daily on the news. It seems to fall on deaf ears - thank goodness for all the excellent care homes staffed by people willing to go the extra mile and who no doubt are paid a mere pittance for doing so.

[2jays]

Great to hear a report of a good care home. All these negative stories do make me double think about when I have to decide what happens to mum in the future.

x

[KAnne]

I quite agree KAnne. The most modern state of the art places are no good unless there is a manager with whom you can have an open dialogue and whose staff respect your Mum. I too was worried about the little amount activities when I had my Mum admitted two months ago but what matters is that there is the compassion and understanding which I am finding hard to spot where she is now on a post operative hospital ward. (See my post "Mum's had a fall and broken her hip") I find the lack of training in basic understanding of dementia hard to fathom with all the publicity we hear daily on the news. It seems to fall on deaf ears - thank goodness for all the excellent care homes staffed by people willing to go the extra mile and who no doubt are paid a mere pittance for doing so.

Hello crafty

Yes, care is all! but I would urge people to remember that the staff are human and that we, in our misery, must not judge TOO harshly - of course I don't mean condoning sub standard care or anything but to try a bit of generosity of understanding, when the bin isn't emptied or the towel missing, or if a little mistake is made - or if the home isn't utter perfection, this sort of thing.
Things improve, smile, put on an act for your loved one and attempt to actually create the atmosphere you want.

I'm sorry about your mums stay in hospital and I'll go take a look at your thread - You make good points concerning peoples total lack of understanding of all things dementia, crafty. Such a totally random condition, I wonder if the care can actually be 'taught' or whether at it's best, it will always come down to experience

[ggma]

I do agree, the age of a building is not guide to the level or type of care offerred. My Mum is in a small local home, which has been there serving the local community a long time, in fact my daughter did voluntary work there as a sixth former over 15 years ago!!
Locally there are newer purpose built homes, but they do not have good reputations, so I am happy with the older building where the staff stay (little change in the three years Mum has been there) and the interest and welfare of the residents is obvious to see.

[KAnne]

I do agree, the age of a building is not guide to the level or type of care offerred. My Mum is in a small local home, which has been there serving the local community a long time, in fact my daughter did voluntary work there as a sixth former over 15 years ago!!
Locally there are newer purpose built homes, but they do not have good reputations, so I am happy with the older building where the staff stay (little change in the three years Mum has been there) and the interest and welfare of the residents is obvious to see.

Sounds like a lovely home ggma, I think there's a lot to be said for this local approach, the domicilliary care I've chosen is to be provided by a little place up the street, thirty years it's been there and employs quite local staff

I looked at a very modern home, the walls were decorated to within an inch of their life and it was all open plan and busy but it smelled terribly and since I've heard it's very money led - the home my mum's in now doesn't smell at all as a rule and there's a new handyman about, so I bet the little jobs he'll be on with

[rajahh]

There is an intermediate hospital locally where patients often go while waiting for a care home to be chosen. My husband went there after an op, and I pre judged it as being dreadful.

It was an old building with a mish mash of beds, and furniture all hand me downs from various wards of the general hospital near by.

Within 4 hours I totally changed my mind, and it is there that my husband slowly came back to some semblance of health6, and eventually came home to me, where he has been for thelast 4 years.

I so agree that you should not judge by appearances, but by the care.

Jeannette

[Saffie]

I think that one problem I found hereabouts was that although you can find small care homes, once you need a nursing home, they all seems to be much larger establishments. I wonder if that is something to do with having to have nurses there all the time so it might be more cost-effective to have a higher nurse/resident ratio.

[Charlyparly]

..the one my mother went into temporarily was old fashioned, a converted mansion type place, a bit tatty, not purpose built and on two levels. I chose it in a hurry I admit, so I was a bit uncomfortable. Among my concerns were the total lack of activities.
However, the care has been second to none, the unit manager has warmed to us and us to her, all the carers have got to know my mum, I've learned that the laundry needs time to come back and items do turn up eventually when they go missing. The activities person had just gone on maternity leave and now they have the most wonderful replacement with whom I am friends...my mum's enjoying the hairdressing, the food, the warmth, the peace, the view from her window and frankly, although she is coming home, I'm unsure if it's quite the right decision

My advice would be to allow some settling time in any home, to try to fit in, to give and not to take at all levels and understand what a truly difficult condition dementia is to manage on masse!

Nobody needs to be frightened of a good care home, it's high time the image of them were changed in this country!

Nice post. I work at and manage a small care home that most (myself included) would probably describe as looking a bit tatty or old fashioned. It’s a large detached building that sort of looks as though it’s stuck in the early 1970’s and if I’m totally honest it sometimes drives me nuts. The reason for it looking tatty or old fashioned however is because it’s filled with the residents own furniture, ornaments and pictures etc.

There are a couple of noisy budgies with god-awful cages I can’t bear to look at and lots of doilies and oversized foot puffs with tussles hanging all the way around!

A surprising number of people take to it immediately because it isn’t an endless sea of beige corridors with beige carpets and beige tablecloths.

[Chemmy]

Nice post. I work at and manage a small care home that most (myself included) would probably describe as looking a bit tatty or old fashioned. It’s a large detached building that sort of looks as though it’s stuck in the early 1970’s and if I’m totally honest it sometimes drives me nuts. The reason for it looking tatty or old fashioned however is because it’s filled with the residents own furniture, ornaments and pictures etc.

There are a couple of noisy budgies with god-awful cages I can’t bear to look at and lots of doilies and oversized foot puffs with tussles hanging all the way around!

A surprising number of people take to it immediately because it isn’t an endless sea of beige corridors with beige carpets and beige tablecloths.

LOL This should be added to the 'Choosing a care home' factsheet!