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  1. #1
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    The three things you have to remember, dealing with an Alzheimer patient?

    I once read on this forum the three things you have to remember when dealing with Alzheimer patiens. I tried to look through the threads, but just can't find it. I was telling my friend whose father has been diagnosed about this, but just can not remember the exact wording. Thank you for any help you can give me.
     

  2. #2
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    Was it the thing about Don't Contradict, Don't ask Questions (i.e. "open ended" questions like "what do you want to do" or "what do you want for lunch" without giving limited options so the person can still make a choice, but not get bamboozled! So you say "Would you like chicken or fish?") and the third was Listen - to the person with dementia. They are the "golden rules" of the Contented Dementia program - which has it's good points, but in all honesty, would be very hard to apply to a lot of people with Dementia. I think though in caring for people, we can take the good advice from a lot of places and sources and leave what doesn't work for us. And these three "golden rules" are excellent. Were they what you were thinking of?
     

  3. #3
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    Clmentine, I agree with Lady A, but would go further; the book "Contented Dementia" by Oliver James is written about a programme devised by an ordinary housewife, who observed her mother for a long period then went on to develop her techniques at Burford Hospital inOxfordshire, whe she is spreading the good work from !
    Alot of common sense, but also a lot of sound advice , which may not occur immediately to a carer.

    Recognising personhood, learing from the "client", can be challenging and adventurous and rewarding
    Best wishes to your friend
    Podgeo
     

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine View Post
    I once read on this forum the three things you have to remember when dealing with Alzheimer patiens. I tried to look through the threads, but just can't find it. I was telling my friend whose father has been diagnosed about this, but just can not remember the exact wording. Thank you for any help you can give me.
    Aside from the Contented Dementia rules, IMO the most important thing to remember is that they CAN'T remember.

    It doesn't matter how often/clearly/simply you tell them something, it doesn't matter what nice clear instructions you leave, once they are past a certain stage almost certainly none of it will work.

    Remembering this can save an awful lot of energy, frustration, and hassle.
     

  5. #5
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    Thank you Lady A, that's exactly what I was looking for.
    I feel those rules we can only apply now to our Mum, now she is safe and well looked after. Before we needed to occasionally contradict for instance, when she went "walkabout". But then as you Witzend say, they can't remember, so any "telling off" does not work anyway.
    I am still questioning her though and I try not to do it, but for me it's somehow important that she knows who we are. But I know I shouldn't do it. However I have learned to listen, and I would add a fourth rule, you don't always have to answer, changing the subject is sometimes better.
     

  6. #6
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    Just a suggestion

    This is just a suggestion. Get to really know the patient. You may think you know your Mum, Dad, Husband or Wife, but do you? Ask yourself what kind of childhood, family life and about period in time they grew up. Should you be fortunate enough to learn and understand when the patient's world 'stopped in time' and begun regressing, it can be reassuring for the patient if you enter their world by talking of their school days etc.

    It worked fine for me, but then I first met my wife in Co. Durham when she was 18. Because I'm different to most people I liked to ask her about her childhood; school, games and holidays etc. It was part of self social education.

    When she wanted to 'go home' I knew only too well why and where, as the place had fond memories of the start of our relationship. When she could no longer speak I could draw on her happy childhood memories, by saying: "Shall we down the beck and skim stones across the water?"
    It is often said on here that we are all different and that's stating the obvious as we are all the product of our upbringing and its environment. In my case I don't give or accept advice without question and that goes for doctors and 'experts'. I only relate my own experiences and observations. The odd thing is that I've been told countless times that certain things in life were impossible and I've challenged 'impossibles' and proved them possible.
     

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine View Post
    Thank you Lady A, that's exactly what I was looking for.
    I feel those rules we can only apply now to our Mum, now she is safe and well looked after. Before we needed to occasionally contradict for instance, when she went "walkabout". But then as you Witzend say, they can't remember, so any "telling off" does not work anyway.
    I am still questioning her though and I try not to do it, but for me it's somehow important that she knows who we are. But I know I shouldn't do it. However I have learned to listen, and I would add a fourth rule, you don't always have to answer, changing the subject is sometimes better.
    Changing the subject works well for me as my husband, when distracted, usually forgets what he was asking in the first place .
    You Never Know How Strong You Are Until Being Strong Is the Only Choice You Have,
     

 

 

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