Hello, I am new so please excuse me if I am posting in the wrong place or if this is too long.
I am very concerned about my 83 year old father. After my mother died in 2004 he coped well on his own with family support for a while then suddenly decided to remarry in 2006 someone that none of us knew. We accepted he may have been lonely and welcomed his new wife into the family. Since the wedding he has increasingly become quite irrational and suspicious of his children and grandchildren, has started making wild accusations against my sisters and has cut himself off almost entirely from his offspring. He has become verbally abusive and physically aggressive towards us and is refusing to see any of us because of a financial matter that is far too complex and boring to detail here but which he insists should be dealt with how he sees it, even though that is not legal or in the best interest of the family as a whole. He puts the phone down on us if we call and has started quoting the bible at us in long rambling letters, telling us we should read and follow the 10 Commandments. He calls my sisters infernal bitches and whores because they dared to follow the solicitor's advice on this financial issue rather than letting him have his own way. He is now threatening to take my sisters to court to remove them as trustees of my mother's will and has spread lies about them to the wider family which have caused them much distress and depression. We cannot get through to his new wife who takes his side in the whole matter and also refuses to speak to us.
Until he remarried he had remained active and spent long hours in his garden or in maintaining the family house. Last year he sold it at his new wife's insistence and is now living in her bungalow, which he refers to as 'her house' and says we are not welcome there. I think he is probably depressed but he blames the whole situation on my sisters and has started calling them abusive names. He has written to their teenage children saying they have made him homeless and penniless. This is untrue. He has also threatened to write to my sister's employers saying that they are neglecting and abusing their elderly father. My sisters work in healthcare and teaching positions so you can imagine such allegations although false would have to be investigated if he did this.
It is impossible to reason with him. He now says they have caused him stress deliberately because they have no interest in his welfare and want him dead. Again patently untrue.
A friend who works with the elderly says she thinks he probably is exhibiting signs of dementia, and we should speak to his GP. However, he lives some distance away from me and as he is refusing to speak to any of us, we can't find out who his GP is - the one we knew of retired and his surgery closed. I have phoned all the surgeries in the area, but they are not allowed to tell me whether he is a patient of theirs or engage in any discussion about his welfare with me. One said that as he is married it is up to his wife as his next of kin to refer him. But we are blood relatives does that not count for anything?
What can I do now? Is there any way I can ask for an assessment? I am worried about him but he just sees us all as the enemy and has obviously convinced his wife of the same. I am feeling very upset by all this as are my sisters, we feel helpless and worried about the prospect of him bringing us to court, surely if he is suffering from dementia this would have some bearing on his ability to testify anyway as all he is doing is spreading lies and misinterpreting their best intentions? However he can appear to others as quite reasonable and the victim in all this, so if he is not diagnosed they may well believe everything he says.
Please, any help you can give me would be very welcome.