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Thread: Respite care

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2012

    Respite care

    Apologies if this has been asked before! My mum, who has vascular dementia, said she would like to see what it's like in a care home whilst i'm away for a week in August! However, on directly looking for somewhere in the Greater London/Kent area it is proving a nightmare - most places have no availability or will only know one week before!! Many websites are misleading stating they provide respite dementia care but dont. I do understand many homes have recently closed and there is a crisis but if people are willing to pay (at a push) I can't quite grasp the difficulties. Needle and haystack!! Is there an agency who is the focal point for this? Is it that we have to go through the Council rather than directly? Sorry if I dont quite understand the system but it's making me cross, god knows what it's like for older people trying to find a place for loved ones!!

    Any advice greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    New User
    Join Date
    Oct 2011


    My Mum has been in respite care while I've been on holiday but took a bit of re-orientating when she came home. Next time I'm considering 24 hour homecare, more expensive but better for mum and also easier to get.

    Good luck Annie

  3. #3
    I had to contact a social worker to arrange respite for my husband last year we had never had one before but she is arranging respite again this year

    Jeany x

  4. #4
    Volunteer Moderator
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Wigan, Lancs
    Blog Entries
    Hi Tobermory and welcome to Talking Point.

    I suspect part of the problem is that homes don't like to keep beds in reserve for respite, and would prefer to have a permanent resident with a guaranteed income. They can offer respite if it just so happens that they have an empty bed that week, but won't know until much nearer the time.

    Social Services may be able to reserve beds further in advance because they have contracts with homes, both for respite and permanent places.

    I appreciate that you want to get things sorted well in advance, and that you don't want the last minute hassle of finding a home that is suitable, but I would be surprised if a home would make a booking for August if that meant they would have to turn down a potential permanent resident.

    The Society produces a factsheet on Repsite Care which may help.

    Former carer and Volunteer Moderator

    About me

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Thank you for your replies and yes Annie I think homecare may have to be the viable option especially re orientation issues.

    I understand that most homes can only offer respite care if they have free beds, however on reading about options available this service is touted as a realistic option which of course is not the case! It is very misleading to read about respite care services which aren't readily available!! I shall speak to Social Services, thank you.

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    We wanted my mum to go into respite last year while I was in America for 3 weeks and everyone kept saying it would be fine, we even started packing her bag as they said they wouldnt be able to say until the last minute where she would go. Then 3 days before I was due to leave we were told she couldnt go because loneliness was not part of the criteria for respite!

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2012


    I think the best way is through your Mum's social worker or even better her GP.
    My husband has a social worker whom I tried to contact back in November wanting a weeks break myself. Her answer was that there is no suitable place available for him as he is so young.
    I saw our GP five weeks back who then did a request to the social worker for the family to have respite care. Three weeks later we had a visit from the social worker who has now found a suitable council run place for disabled people under sixty-five. 17 beds with four permanent residents the rest are beds for respite.
    We are due to visit tomorrow with view for a break very soon. I was advised though not to travel too far away on the first break, I had to tease out of the Social Worker that my husband has been granted four weeks respite a year with a small contribution from my husband of 77.
    Fingers crossed for tomorrow that he meets their criteria and that he likes it well enough to go there for a break.
    Good luck in your search




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