stuff (frequently) going missing at care home

[Heather777]

My dads stuff always went missing-it used to be distressing to see others in his labelled clothes. Not sure that there is much point in labelling things sometimes. My dad had false teeth for years-he just used to brush them and put some new grip on them. He was in one home and suddenly they were out of his mouth and nowhere to be found. I had only seen them in a few hours earlier. No-one admitted touching them and I was 100% sure that he would not have removed them. I too couldnt face the endless dentist visits to get some new ones and he managed fine without any. However, it is still a measure of indignity and lack of care when this happens. You do end up swallowing this issue but why should you? My dad wondered in other peoples room so I know that it can happen but named stuff in a lost property box should be replaced by staff not rummaged by relatives.
Heather

[Canadian Joanne]

I made a point of gradually getting Mum's rings off her fingers, primarily because she was gaining weight and things were getting quite tight! We tried to have as little as possible of value in her room.

I personally think that some items of clothing get returned to the wrong room in error and live in the back of the closet until the resident dies. At which point the family has to go through everything and I know they aren't paying much attention and just want to clear out as quickly as they can.

I was much more frustrated about it in the beginning but now I also have a much more relaxed attitude. I buy reasonably priced clothing so if I need to replace things, which happens more frequently due to the high temperature of the washers & dryers, it's not a big deal financially.

[Alloway]

Interwstin g to see these comments today about wedding/engagement rings. My Mum constantly loses track of clothes and other items at her care home. We're not particularly worried in the main, as these things can easily be replaced but the rings.... that's a different story. I has a call this morning from the CH asst mgr to tell me Mum's wedding and engagement rings had gone missing, only to be found after a detailed search (I think they were in a box of tissues in the loo).

They've now told me to consider taking the rings off Mum for safe-keeping. I can cope with most things, but to take an old lady's engagement ring off her is just too much to contemplate - it means so much to her especially as Dad is now gone. So do I just take the risk that the rings may go missing?

[eastiesgir]

Would it be possible to buy a cheap ring similar to what your mum has? That way she could wear a ring that has no real money value. I don't know how advanced your mum is so it may not be possible without her noticing.

Interwstin g to see these comments today about wedding/engagement rings. My Mum constantly loses track of clothes and other items at her care home. We're not particularly worried in the main, as these things can easily be replaced but the rings.... that's a different story. I has a call this morning from the CH asst mgr to tell me Mum's wedding and engagement rings had gone missing, only to be found after a detailed search (I think they were in a box of tissues in the loo).

They've now told me to consider taking the rings off Mum for safe-keeping. I can cope with most things, but to take an old lady's engagement ring off her is just too much to contemplate - it means so much to her especially as Dad is now gone. So do I just take the risk that the rings may go missing?

[Isabella41]

I managed to get mum to give me her engagement ring before she went into care. I told her I wanted to get it cleaned. We did this pretty regularly so she gave it to me no problem. I gave her a dress ring of mine that she always liked but while it looks the part it has cz stones and ruby. I used to find her engagement ring in all sorts of wonderful places - cutlery drawer, larder cupboard, under the bed etc.
My late aunt spent her final 5yrs in a nursing home. Her engagement ring which was worth thousands of pounds went missing. Despite a full scale search given its value no trace of it was ever found. My aunt was totally bed bound at the time it went missing. We suspected staff but could not prove anything.
I didn't want to go down the same path with mum. Most jewellers sell really good cz copies of engagement rings that only cost a few pounds. I think this is probably the best option to prevent something of sentimental/monetary value being lost forever.

[Canadian Joanne]

They've now told me to consider taking the rings off Mum for safe-keeping. I can cope with most things, but to take an old lady's engagement ring off her is just too much to contemplate - it means so much to her especially as Dad is now gone. So do I just take the risk that the rings may go missing?

I strongly recommend that you remove the rings and, as Isabella and eastiesgir say, substitute a similar but inexpensive ring.

Mum's wedding and engagement rings had gone missing, only to be found after a detailed search (I think they were in a box of tissues in the loo).

They could just as easily been flushed down the toilet by accident.

[reno]

I find it all quite philosophical really. We come into this world without anything and only caring about being warm, fed and cared for. And, with dementia certainly, we end up the same way. My mum couldn't care less for possessions any more. But sweets and cakes ... well ... (why IS that?? she wasn't that bothered before)