our pub meal!

[lupo]

Well Mum has been in ch 8 days, and has had two falls which reinforced that we made the right decision. We decided to take her in the car to a pub for tea today. The home had her ready by 4.15 and she was all smiles. We got there and ordered and found a quiet table (the whole pub was quiet). Well would she sit still No, up and down, 7 trips to toilet. Food came, 1 chip , stand ups. No Mum sit and eat, one chip, up again, it was like being with a restless 2 year old. She has only slept one night in ch, its 3 or 4 hours max. Shes on sulphride which is for restlessness and has been on it for 3 weeks , but dont think its working, she paces till she drops!

[Canadian Joanne]

To make life easier for all of you, may I suggest that you wait at least one month, preferably longer, before taking your mum out again? If you want to have a meal with her, can you join her at her table at the care home or is there a private area where you can bring in food for a private meal?

My mother's nursing home has what we call a country kitchen which can be booked for small family gatherings (up to about 10 or 12). Actually there are 6 country kitchens as there are 6 home units in the facility. We've used it in the past for Christmas lunch and Mum's birthday. Much easier all around.

[TinaT]

You could be describing my husband and I'm sure the same goes for many other Talking Point posters here on this forum. I had to stop taking him out of the care home for meals as it was all just too much for both of us to cope with. I also found that the fewer people with us on the trip out, the more sucessful the outing was. In fact the best outings were when there was just the two of us.

I found that if I took my husband a walk around the local supermarket and then had a cup of tea in the cafe, that was as much as he and I could cope with. Another favourite place in the summertime was the local garden centre where we could also wander around and then have a cake and cup of tea.

I'm sure you will find your own places which work for both of you and that you will start to enjoy your little outings together.
TinaT

[lupo]

thank you for responses. Today reminded me of taking an hard work two year old out! She was so tired but still wouldnt sit when we got back

[Katrine]

This is why we no longer take MIL on holiday with us Lupo! She isn't quite as restless as your mum but cannot seem to settle and is constantly wanting to know what we are doing next, or what she can do, when we just want to sit down with the paper or a book. If we ignore her (which is rude ) she sometimes drops off to sleep for 20 minutes. Then wakes up full of beans and wants to go out again. She goes to bed early but then is up at 6am banging doors, trying to find the kitchen and bathroom.

In MIL's case possibly 6-year old, not 2-year old, but still hard work. Well done for trying the pub meal. Perhaps you just have to let her keep bobbing up and down and ignore some of it? You could hem her in to a corner so she can't get out of her chair - that's what we used to do with the most disruptive child!

[ggma]

It is really hard to realise that things which have ment a lot to people become too difficult to continue. We tried to go on taking Mum to the hairdressers rather than use the mobile one in care home, because all her life going to the hairdresser had been very important to her, last time we went, she could not understand how to put her head back to have her hair washed, so ended up soaked - can't do that again, dry cut from now on.

However, walking behing a supermarket trolley for a few items does work and as suggested above garden centre and a cake and coffee still works.

I am sure you will find things you can do. It's early days in care home and so difficult to adjust to. Thinking of you. All the best.