Nowhere else to turn to

[jan.s]

Good to hear you Kassy.

I too am upset, but not with you. I look at threads sometimes and choose not to read them for whatever reason. I was under the impression that TP was a place for support, but I do notice that a lot of the posts are about other things. Fine. Some I read and join in with, others I choose not to. That in my opinion is freedom of speech.

Kassy, I know you are struggling with any issues, and if I can bring a little warmth and comfort into your life, then I have achieved something. I know I'm not going to change things for you, but sometimes just to know people care is good.

We all have different personailities, and cope with circumstances in different ways. Most of the time I keep my grief to myself, but just sometimes I will turn to TP knowing there are people out there who have experienced something similar and on that day it will help me. Sometimes it helps just to now people care, especially when you're on your own as I am.

I know I can't change your life for you Kassy, but I can offer you support and advice - you can then choose whether to take notice or not. That is your choice, not mine, but you always know I'm still here for you.

Jan x

[florence43]

if I can bring a little warmth and comfort into your life, then I have achieved something. I know I'm not going to change things for you, but sometimes just to know people care is good.

Perfectly put!

[Saffie]

I am trying to choose my words with care here as I have no wish to cause offence to anyone who has posted on Kassy's thread as I am sure that all posts have been written with the best of intentions.

However, I do feel that Kassy might have been driven to writing her history because of all the well meaning advice being directed at her on both this thread and the previous one. That is, to explain just why the advice offered could not help. Forgive me if I'm wrong Kassy, it is just how it appears to me.

The reason I have said on this thread that I will not keep posting as often as previously is because I felt that the level of pressure on Kassy, via posts recommending various actions, was becoming a problem in itself. Even though my posts were more of the comfort and support kind - I accept that I do not have the expertise to offer the level of advice that is needed - I was afraid that even the volume of posts might become too much if Kassy felt obliged to respond to them all, even if she did appreciate the thought. Hence, my saying that I would only post when Kassy did or I have something definite to say, though I do understand why people feel the need to make daily contact. However, less posting doesn't mean less care or compassion.

I hope I haven't offended anyone here, especially you Kassy. You are in a dark place right now and I pray that a glimmer of light will find its way to you soon. I want you to have the support your friends here, including myself, can send you if it helps you - and I hope it does. Sending love and that same support XXX

[florence43]

Dear Saffie,

I think what you have written is lovely.

It's so hard to know how to help, but we all try, don't we?

xx

[KatherineW]

I have been following this thread and felt it was important to post here re. Kassy’s request for this discussion to be removed from the public forum.

We remove threads from the Talking Point forum relatively rarely, and when we do, it is usually because something posted in a thread has contravened forum rules in some way. As I’m not aware that any rules have been broken within this discussion, I’m afraid I don’t feel that removing this thread from public view would either be appropriate, or set a helpful precedent.

Talking Point is a public forum, which aims to facilitate supportive discussion amongst people who are living with dementia, and coping with dementia-related issues and challenges. Any discussion that is started on Talking Point is likely to incorporate a range of different views and perspectives, and in fact, it’s this very range of views and experiences that enrich the forum and add to its value.

For members who are experiencing an especially difficult time or who are feeling vulnerable, I think it’s really important to carefully consider whether posting in the public forum (and encountering a range of perspectives on a situation) is going to be the most appropriate course of action.

There are other ways of seeking support on Talking Point – via Blogs (which can be set so that only specific people can view them) or Social Groups (which again have a range of privacy settings). Both of these options offer a more discreet means of accessing support on the forum, and may be more appropriate in some instances.

I hope this is clear, but if anyone has any questions or concerns about any of the above, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Best wishes,

[Tender Face]

Kassy – thank you for offering an apology. Not necessary and I was not offended, rather concerned at your apparent lack of insight at your own behaviours – which in the circumstances I acknowledge is an inherent factor of where you are just now. I was just more concerned than ever for you and especially fearful of how far your ‘non-dementia’ disclosures may go on the ‘www’ available for all the world to see. (As well as their appropriateness for this forum and its members).

I am delighted to see – as I hope you are – that Katherine has come along and explained how you can harness the support you seek from TP in a more private way. I would hope that gives you the ‘safety’ you need and the privacy to disclose things you feel you need to, to a core of people you choose and feel comfortable with and which may give you a better base from which you will feel confident enough to move on from at some point.

Forgive the hamster analogy again – but when I see people now struggling in the grip of depression and anxiety, I don’t just want to see them off that wheel – I want to know they have broken free from the cage! (I still hover around the cage door myself some days feeling quite uncertain if I dare venture outside my safety zone. I do understand how hard it can be but, with help, and coping strategies not to mention appropriate support, things can become at least ‘manageable’ if not exactly wonderful).

I repeat my genuine best wishes to you. I am here if you need constructive ideas and support if ever you think I can help ... but I don’t think you are there just now. Hopefully ... one day.

Kindest regards, Karen, x

[kassy]

I repeat,i would like this thread deleted

[SerenaS]

Hello everyone

We're going to close this thread now, as the discussion has run its course.

Thanks,