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Thread: Feeling blue...

  1. #31
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    Hugs & Love Annie

    Hello Annie , Just wanted to send much Love & Comfort to you for today & in the days , & weeks to come

    Love & Hugs Love Grove x x x
    Where there is injury,pardon;
    Where there is dicord,union;
    Where there is doubt, faith;
    Where there is despair; hope;
    Where there is darkness,light;
    Where there is sadness,joy;

    ST Francis Of Assisi

  2. #32
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    Just wanted to say I am thinking of you. Three months for me and I still sometimes think "How can this be?" I thought that day would never come and it's surreal. I have my own family yet feel I have nobody. It's a totally new situation when you have no parents. I have to be the grown-up now. Stay strong x

  3. #33
    Hi Annie,

    just finished reading all the threads that you started and wanted to let you know that they have touched me............ deeply.

    You have a way of expressing yourself. You have made me cry mostly, but i've also had a giggle. You've being so kind in sharing your experiences and they have really helped me to appreciate more the time that I have left with mum .

    I came across this forum by chance, one of your posts happen to pop up when I was looking for something else in google.....................but I was meant to end up here. Your posts have been an outlet for me and I have to admit I haven't cried so much in a long time, but it was needed.

    I'm so sorry that you are finding it hard at the moment, but there will be an ease again.........be sure of that.

    As I go about my business today, I will think of you.

    Thank you so much

    Denise

  4. #34
    Ah Denise,

    That means so much to me that my posts have helped you, though I'm sorry they made you cry! Between you and me, they made me cry too!

    It's such a difficult journey, the dementia road, but there are some good times, and I have some precious memories. This illness changes our loved ones beyond recognition by the end, but they change us too, often for the better.

    I am more tolerant, more appreciative, although sadder some days, I try to live to the fullest. Mum taught me so much in her lifetime, from the moment she first held me in her arms, and even when she was too poorly to realise it, she was still teaching me.

    It's a huge hole left when they've gone, and many a time I wanted her spared. It's a situation where you're pulled in different directions all the time. Please let her slip away...but not today...not just yet...oh, but i dont want her to suffer any more...but im scared to be without her...

    No matter how she had gone, I was always going to miss her.

    Enjoy any moment of closeness you can, but don't berate yourself when you're tired of it. Nobody here is a saint, but we all care so deeply and are carrying much sorrow... Just know at even at the darkest times, there will be precious moments that will stay with you forever.

    Thank you again for your lovely words. It's a honour to be able to help, xx
    Annie x x


  5. #35
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    Dear Annie,
    Just catching up after my mass family week away- your thread has spoken so much of my last year, sometimes you're ahead of where I was, sometimes behind but all so familiar.
    Even up to last week when yet again YOUR support helped me through - it took 2 days for me to be able to revisit the scattering spot and I did it alone (telling no one). It was a beautiful peaceful hour with not a tear shed.I returned (again alone - I had mentioned to my sister in law I may not be able to cope with anyone else) on the last day of the holiday and broke my heart (crying now as I remember)-but why could the same walk/spot/feelings/emotions be so different - I don't know. A year on I still wake up thinking I must ring her.
    Your husband sounds wonderful, my eldest son took me out for belated mothers day coffee and basically told me he hated how I'd kept all the last years emotions to myself - I told him a little (the double loss due to dementia) which resulted him in tears - a bad decision-still searching for how to cope in this family full of males.
    Photos? I have none up permamently - my most precious album is here on TP as I can add my own feelings/thoughts without fear of upsetting others. Thats where I often escape to when in need.
    Have rambled on too much but wanted to add to everyone else, thanking you for all your support, your thoughtful caring replies and hoping today is only a pale blue sort of day?
    Love Katherine xx

  6. #36
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    hello there,

    I am so glad to hear you are feeling a bit better now and your happy spirit is returning slowly but surely. I think its impossible to put a time on grieving and its never something you should think about in terms of months or years as everyone is different and every situation is different but we are all here for you. I personally hardly had time to grieve for one relative before another was ill also with cancer and i STILL havent really had that grieving time i was supposed to have even 20 years down the line but i cry rarely, because its only the greatly happy times i remember (my addled brain has blotted out all the physically painful times). There were emotional ups and downs but we were always there for eachother and she fulfilled all her lifetimes ambitions and dreams of a happy family life before she died in the physical sense of the word "death". But in the spiritual world, she is very much alive and with us and peacefully loving us wherever she goes, which of course is wherever WE go. Her happy spirit will never stop giving you her love.....now go pour that glass of wine, eat an Easter Egg!! And Happy Easter to you all!

  7. #37
    Your messages have been lovely!

    I am starting to smile when I read them, and just knowing others feel the same, or not, it just makes me feel better.

    I haven't cried for a couple of days now, and I'm finding it easier to smile when I think of my mum & dad.

    That's a start, eh?

    Mum loved mini-eggs so I gave my MIL a mini-egg Easter Egg today! That felt nice. Watching my children hunt for eggs in the garden this morning was also lovely.

    So, I AM pale blue today, which is a far cry from purple. No doubt, the spectrum will change many times, but I'm expecting it and I'll manage, like so many of us do...

    Thanks again, and Happy Easter (yes, I'm off to have more chocolate!) x
    Annie x x


  8. #38
    Hi Annie,

    One of my great pleasures today has been reading the responses you have received on this thread

    I am sure you know, I have told you before, that I think you are a wonderfully rounded human being - full of warmth and with a generous spirit.

    Happy Easter Annie
    Helen
    Wife and Carer

  9. #39
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    Hi there,

    I feel a rainbow effect with my emotions too. Its now almost 9 months since my Mum died and I sometimes find myself in a tearful mode. I shake it off but I know its there lurking and I know at some point, I will feel it perhaps like you have in the purple phase.

    Glad you are in pale blue and moving out of the darker colours. And glad that you are able to express the emotions that you are feeling. Its so important and I am not so good at that bit...doh!

    Anyway, Happy Easter to you. Keep moving forward
    Axxx

 

 

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