Care homes

[Witzend]

Has anyone got any tips on looking for care homes that deal as much with dementia as they do old age? My mum is in a ca home which seems to deal with the latter rather than the dementia, and I would be interested to hear others views on this as well as any recommendations for good dementia care homes either in the canvey island or hornchurch Essex area, or Surrey.
Thanks

My mother is in an Abbeyfield specialist dementia home. It was purpose built - IMO extremely well designed in 4 connected wings of 9 residents each - all colour coded, plenty of easily-accessible loos with big signs on the doors, etc., all nice light en-suite rooms. And plenty of space for anyone who likes wandering around, inc. a large, securely fenced garden where it's safe for them to go whenever they like.

We looked at several homes, one in particular was very smart and 'stylish' in the communal areas but converted from a hotel, miles of corridors to the rooms, etc. and would have been totally unsuitable for my mother, though they were quite willing to take her (at a hefty price). Stylishness was absolutely at the bottom of our list - my mother did not give a toss whether the place looked like something out of Homes and Gardens - homely and comfortable was far more important.

At my mother's stage of AD we felt a specialist dementia home was best - staff are trained to deal with it and relatives of other residents are not so likely to make objections if anyone is shouting out/being difficult, or things go missing, as they are bound to when you've got people with dementia helping themselves to whatever they fancy.

Having said all that my fil went into a 'mixed' home - we chose it because he was still fit and active and would have gone mad (he was going mad with rage anyway on and off) anywhere he was locked in - which was every other home we looked at. That home was wonderful with him - I will always be grateful to them. But my mother never wants to go out of doors, and never did even when she was at home, so although they both had pretty bad AD by the time we finally went down the CH route the 'musts' were rather different.

So much depends on the individual and the 'feel' of the home. One that looks so good on paper may not feel right when you go to check it out, and somewhere that maybe looks a bit shabby may have just the right atmosphere. FWIW we are pleased with the Abbeyfield and I am profoundly grateful that they happened to have a room available
when the crisis finally arrived - i.e. the point where we simply couldn't put the decision off any longer.

[ChrisB6]

thanks to all who have taken the time so far to reply with your own experiences and helpful tips - i really appreciate it.
Chris