my last few posts have been regarding mam's sudden decline. We had a meeting today at the assessment ward with mam's doctors ect. They told us that after their period of assesment they believe it would be best if mam was placed in a home on a permenant basis. I sort of expected this but it still hurts so much, my mam is 58 years old this is so unfair, i cant help feeling so bitter and angry at the world in general. I feel robbed, i feel my children have been robbed and to top it all off i feel i have broken my dads heart by asking her to be taken in the first place. He tells me that i shouldnt feel guilty for what i did but just looking at him i know how much he's hurting because i multiply my own pain by a million and then i know Mam is happier and more settled on the ward and this is probably the best for her, but i've been missing her for the past 5 years but now it feels as if she's completley gone. I'm off work at the mo and just cant even think of returning, i cant seem to think of anything the cpn has told me to go to the gp and ask for counselling and i've made an appointment for next week. I think the hardest part is knowing how much i'm hurting and that both my dad and sister are feeling the same
Thanks for listening, just needed to get it out.