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  1. #1
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    Mum's new obsession - going to the toilet!

    My Mum seems, according to my Dad, to have developed an obsession for going to the toilet - which sadly seems to frustrate my Dad beyond belief, despite him being incredibly good tempered about everything else. (Maybe he feels he just can't exert any help/control over this?)

    Anyway, it seems Mum will decide to go off to the loo about 3 times an hour and then stay there for what Dad describes as 20 minutes, but i expect is nearer 8 or 10 (otherwise she'd be in there for the whole hour!) Mum never knows whether she has 'done' anything although she has suffered with both piles and diarrhoea (poss due to the side effects of Aricept?...) recently so I can understand why this has become an obsession. My own theory is that she doesn't want to get 'caught out' by the dreaded diarrhoea so then strains to go and thus the piles....

    Any one experienced this behaviour before and, if so, any tips for how we might manage it? Oddly it seems to be Dad's 'problem' rather than Mum's in that it effects him greatly - I can tell as soon as he answers the phone - and it's really stressing him which then sets the scene for the rest of the day (very frosty when I arrived yesterday!)

    Would something like an egg timer be a thought - so Mum knows she has a certain time alloted on the loo or would that make things worse? - I really don't want going to the loo to be more of a hoo-ha than it already is!!!

    Many thanks,
    Mays Mum
     

  2. #2
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    If this is a new habit there may be a medical problem that she is unable to articulate. If she was just anxious she wouldn't stay in there so long - I think she's trying to deal with a problem of some kind. It could be piles or constipation, or a uterine prolapse, or a urinary infection that is irritating her bladder. I would recommend talking to her about it privately, and then a visit to the GP.
     

  3. #3
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    This is what my gran does now constantly going to the toilet and is now her trigger for kicking off if we are out if she says she needs the toilet and theres not one about she kicks off big style

    But in the house my gran will constanly go to the toilet like up and down 3 times in a row. We are constantly getting her tested for urine infections.
     

  4. #4
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    I wonder if this is something like when they obsessively look at a note or see if a window is closed - just a suggestion
     

  5. #5
    My mother went through a fairly lengthy phase of constantly going to the toilet. She was tested repeatedly for UTIs but never had one. We did figure out that going to the toilet was her way of getting out of an uncomfortable situation or something she didn't want to do. It took a while but it did go away eventually.
    Joanne
    Carer and Volunteer Moderator
    When you've seen one person with Alzheimer's, you've seen one person with Alzheimer's
     

  6. #6
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    Same Thing Re: Toilet Fixation

    We are going through the exact same thing with my mother right now. She is 66 years old with mid/late stage Alzheimers and has had some major toileting issues over the last month or so. She has been seen by the doctor on numerous occassions but is so fixated on what she thinks are "problems" in the bathroom she refuses to leave her room and sobs all day. I have never felt so helpless. We truly understand this is about her loss of control and her sadness/anger over this horrible disease but we just do not know what to do to help her. Things are so bad the assisted living facility is thinking she may not be able to remain much longer. Does anyone have any tips on how to help her move through this???
     

  7. #7
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    My Dad has this behaviour when he finds himself in situations where he feels uncomfortable. He doesn't have any toileting problems so w think that it's his way of removing himself from situations that he can't deal with. Maybe this is why your Mum has started to do this.
     

  8. #8
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    I don't have any form of Dementia (yet anyway!) and I have times when in spite of not having any discernible infections, I can go to the loo 4 or 5 times in an hour - and sometimes still feel like I need to go, and actually don't! The doctor says it's just a combination of smallish bladder and sometimes if I don't drink enough it can cause this problem.
     

  9. #9
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    Oh my goodness, there are others out there going through the same thing as I have with my Mum! She is on/off the toilet every 20 mins or so. It isn't that she always needs to go, but she has this obsession of "what if I have an accident" (not that she does have accidents). She has stopped going out for drives with my brother because she now needs help when on the toilet and so needs a female with her. (I'm the only daughter, so obviously that person is me). Everytime I mention we need to go to the shops, post office etc, she always has to go to the toilet beforehand - even if she went 2 minutes before! It is very frustrating (because she obviously doesn't need to go again that soon- but it's her fear of 'having an accident' or 'what if there's not a toilet where we are going') - it sends me to despair! To make things worse, she gives herself a sore bottom due to the frequent unnecessary wiping....viscious circle!
    I too would like some tips from anyone who's experienced the same situation - many thanks.
     

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by S GREENER View Post
    Oh my goodness, there are others out there going through the same thing as I have with my Mum! She is on/off the toilet every 20 mins or so. It isn't that she always needs to go, but she has this obsession of "what if I have an accident" (not that she does have accidents). She has stopped going out for drives with my brother because she now needs help when on the toilet and so needs a female with her. (I'm the only daughter, so obviously that person is me). Everytime I mention we need to go to the shops, post office etc, she always has to go to the toilet beforehand - even if she went 2 minutes before! It is very frustrating (because she obviously doesn't need to go again that soon- but it's her fear of 'having an accident' or 'what if there's not a toilet where we are going') - it sends me to despair! To make things worse, she gives herself a sore bottom due to the frequent unnecessary wiping....viscious circle!
    I too would like some tips from anyone who's experienced the same situation - many thanks.
    Actually - now that you mention this fear of having an accident - one of our neighbours has a husband with AD, and he had had a couple of accidents when out for a long period. So she uses pads for him just when he's going to be away from a loo for a while. She says it has solved the problem - he never wets them! It gives him confidence that if he does need to go, it won't matter, no-one will know if he "has an accident"! And the relaxation of knowing that he's ok, seems to deal with what she refers to as "anxiety wee-ing". I know how he feels - first thing I check wherever I go is where the loo is. Once I know where it is, I mightn't need it, but if I can't find one, it's amazing how the mind then concentrates on your bladder!
     

  11. #11
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    MIL has had this for weeks. When she goes to bed she might be in and out of bed every 5-6 minutes for nearly 2 hours going to the loo, flushing and hand washing! Problem is that she has no recollection of it
    We always wondered why her water bills were so huge
     

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by cc26759 View Post
    We are going through the exact same thing with my mother right now. She is 66 years old with mid/late stage Alzheimers and has had some major toileting issues over the last month or so. She has been seen by the doctor on numerous occassions but is so fixated on what she thinks are "problems" in the bathroom she refuses to leave her room and sobs all day. I have never felt so helpless.
    Hello welcome to TP
    It must be horrible seeing your mum suffer so

    I am assuming mums doctor has checked for constipation , uti (urinary tract infection , thrush etc

    Im wondering if it could be a more severe version of what my mum seemed to believe
    That anything to do with going to the loo was a dirty / bad thing, at other times she thought that doing a wee or poo meant their was something seriously wrong with her
    My mum also found the sensation of doing a poo worrying/painful

    Could it be mum is afraid of messing herslelf
    Sorry I know that is no actual help but thought it may shed some light or give u some ideas of what may be causing your mums distress

    Im also wondering if your mum is suffering from depression as the not leaving her room and crying a lot rings a few bells with me . If mum is already on anti depressants then maybe they need adjusting or changing

    It would also be a good idea to speak to mums consultant , community psychiatric nurse (cpn) if she has one as they may have come across this before and I think its best to inform them anyway
    Last edited by lin1; 03-04-2012 at 03:35 AM.
    Lin

    Daughter and former carer

    If only I could have Hindsight beforehand, oh what a difference it would make .

    Odd words,mis-spelling and punctuation are most likely due to my clever phone, it seems to have its own ideas about what I am trying to say, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it lol
     

 

 

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