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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    20

    Over two weeks now

    Hi,

    Mum died on 7 March, the funeral was on the 21st. It's been hard, as it is for everyone after a death, but reading posts on this site has helped. I have no regrets and did everything I could for her as she had done so much for me and the rest of the family, her own mother and her husband. She really was a wonderful woman- as is everyone's mother.

    I've been looking after mum for over 5 years and it gave a purpose to my life. And now ??? I'm thinking and planning to do the camino walk to Santiago de Compostella - am I mad ? Has anyone done it ?

    Then later it will be back to reality and looking for work to pay the bills. Want to do something helping people but not sure what.

    Sympathy to everyone here who has lost a loved one to this awful disease. I think someone said it's worse because we've already been grieving for the person while we watched them suffer. I don't know- hope I don't start getting angry.

    Regards

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Robin21 View Post

    I've been looking after mum for over 5 years and it gave a purpose to my life. And now ??? I'm thinking and planning to do the camino walk to Santiago de Compostella - am I mad ? Has anyone done it ?

    Then later it will be back to reality and looking for work to pay the bills. Want to do something helping people but not sure what.
    I don`t even know what it is Robin but good luck to you for thinking positively.

    I am sorry you have lost your mother but it sounds as if she was very well cared for and much loved.
    What more could she have asked for. xx

    Sylvia

    Former Carer and Volunteer Moderator .

    I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet

    About me

  3. #3
    Hello Robin, its good to hear that TP has helped you. I do believe its entirely natural that a gap is left when you have cared for someone as you have. Its great that you are thinking and planning ahead. Its odd sometimes how the right thing comes along at just the right moment, it did for me

    Very best wishes, and good luck if you decide to do the walk. It sounds very exciting!

    x

  4. #4
    It's been a month since Mum died,just over two weeks since Dad died,and I still don't know what to do with myself.
    Well done for wanting to keep on helping people,the right thing will turn up.

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    13

    Over two weeks now

    Dear Robin1 - and Bumble B

    My condolescenses to both of you.

    Isn't it a shame there is no manual to tell you what to do when the time comes you are no longer a carer!

    When I was looking after my mother I knew how nothing I'd be when it was over and I too thought I'd walk - I'd go to Britain and do walks.

    I think the thing about work etc. is not too soon, not too late. You will know when you are ready.

    All the best. You're not alone in this,

    Merideth

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    374
    Robin 21
    Very sorry about your loss and wish you well for the future.
    My sister lives in south west france and did the walk. is there anything in particular you want to know and I will ask her?

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Yorkshire England
    Posts
    162
    Hi Robin 21, so sorry to hear of your loss.

    I too cared for my mum at home untill she passed away in January. I gave my job up to be her full time carer.

    I am lost now, nothing to get up for in the mornings etc, there is a great big void in my life. I am actively seeking work and would like to care for Dementia patients, although my GP and counsellor think otherwise, saying it is too soon.

    What you are hoping to achieve seems a well worthy cause to me, Good Luck.

    Alicejude xx

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    20

    El Camino

    Thanks to everyone for their replies.

    Just like to say that I'm travelling by train to SW France on Saturday 21/4- one month after Mum's funeral- then I'll make my way to St Jean Pied de Port at the foot of the Pyrenees to start the walk to Santiago de Compostella in Galicia, Spain on 26/4.

    Preparing for the trip has taken my mind off things a little and given me a sense of purpose again. For anyone interested I've found out that a lot of people do this walk after a bereavment. Of course it's not for everyone, but people in their 60's and 70's do it. You can stay in hostel type accommodation along the way which is provided on a donation basis to those carrying a pilgrim 'passport' or credential.

    As long as my knees don't give up on me I hope to do the whole walk which is about 500 miles. It will no doubt be hard at times but there'll be plenty of time to think and reflect surrounded by the beauty of nature. I hope to do some praying too- see if that God fella has anything to tell me about what this life is all about.

    Best wishes to all.

 

 

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