Who supports carers in a care homes?

[Ariadne]

Hello TP

I really appreciate TP and think it is a very good idea.

All I read here does help me with understanding the work I do since half a year.
I work in a care home, caring for people with dementia. I have never done this before. I am now 51 years old and have just started with my NVQ Level 2 for care. But I enjoy this work and have now the idea to do something very importent in my life.

But I miss something, something that is given to all the people here on TP. They can talk about there experiences and there feelings and ask for help. I cannot!
I have tried, but at work there is nobody I can talk to about my feelings. I can, but I don't feel taken serious, so I gave up to talk about it.

I miss a TP where carers working in a care home can talk about what they are concerned about.

Sometimes I think: there is something wrong! but I cannot address it. Because I would have to say to my coleague: "How can you speek like that about that resident?" Or: The fact, that it seems to me that a lot of people have pain, but they are not taken serious enough. They just get Paracetamol. And when they have reached their daily dose but are still I pain, I have to say: "Sorry, but you can't get more painkillers." I feel so miserable to do this.

And another point is for me to cope with the death. I know people will die and right in the beginning I witnessed it and I found the way my colleague dealt with the right way. We could forsee it and for the person it was a relief because she had to suffer a lot before due to shingles. But another time I just had 3 days off when I came back and was told like this: "Oh by the way: we have lost ....." A woman I really did not expect to die. I was quit shocked about the way I was told. But maybe I am just to sensitive still.

I really miss a TP where I can talk about what I experience at my work and what I feel.

So I appologise for using this TP to talk about the things I am concerned about.

Have a nice day

Ariadne

[choccy]

Hello Ariadne and welcome to TP.

First of all may I commend you on your work in the care home. You sound a very caring and sincere person, and I, for one, am really happy theres a carer like yourself working with dementia sufferers.

I don't know if there are any 'professonal' bodies that provide support for working carers, but I don't think anyone would mind if you use TP to air your views and problems.

I'm sure someone will come along shortly with some more useful information for you.

xx

[nitram]

You say you are doing NVQ level 2 for care.

You should talk to your mentor about your concerns, they should be able to help or put you in touch with somebody who can.

[Dazmum]

Maybe the moderators could set up a permanent subject thread for such carers, if they thought it appropriate? I could see that it would be hlepful for professional carers to discuss issues such as the ones Ariadne mentions.

[handyjack]

Hello Ariadne, and welcome. Like you I work in a care/nursing home. Our manageress is a trained counsellor and I have found her to be very approachable. Any concerns I or colleagues have are addressed.
Death is one thing I find quite hard to deal with. I'm told to try not to allow myself to become too involved with residents, but I find that extremely hard to do. I sat with one resident as she passed away and found this very hard. Our home always has at least two representatives at funerals of late residents. Staff are always kept aware of funeral arrangements, so they can pay their last respects should they wish to do so.
We do talk to each other and I suppose support one another, when faced with difficult times. I'm sure as your new career develops and you get used to the other staff members, you'll get to know at least a few who perhaps share the same sort of feelings you have and can talk privately about work etc.
Wishing you all the best in your new found career. xx

PS You can always post on TP about any worries etc you have. There are people here with much more experience of dementia than even I have.

[Ariadne]

At first: thank you for commending me

I like your idea and will follow it. There is a lot what I experience throughout my work and I have to get it off my chest like other people. So I will use that TP for it. Maybe it is interesting for other people too when they read what is going on in a care home and what the professional carers have to deal with.

I know I am forbidden to say what is going on within the home. So I will never mention names nor the name or the location of the care home.

That is another point: for reasons I understand we are not allowed to talk about what is going on in the home. BUT we (at least me) have the desire to talk about it.

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Nitram: I will speak to my mentor. Good idea!
Dazmum: I will address the responsible people of TP with your proposal. It is really a good one!

Thank you

[Ariadne]

Your home seems to be very good. As far as I know we (the staff) haven't these opportunities with the funerals. But I will ask.

In the beginning I was working at day shifts but then I was put on nights only. So I know the day staff as well and I see them in the mornings and in the evenings. But at night we are only 2 carers for 38 people. And my manager I work with at night is sometimes my problem. She is working there since about 10 years at nights. Maybe that has made her more insensitive. I don't like the way she talks about residents or the way she imitates them. I find that really humiliating against them. In the first time I worked with her I thought: oh, she has the humor you have to have if you work in that job. But later I saw it's not humor, it's just disrespectful. What is humor in that job? Where is the line between humor and disrespect?

Ariadne

[danny]

Hi Ariadne. It is difficult to find a place for carers to speak, there are lots of issues around confidentiality etc.

You sound caring and want to make things better. I would start by whistle blowing on the night nurse who is being disrespectful to vulnerable people in her charge.

Cornwall County Council has a lot of information about whistle blowing etc on its web site.I also think that 2 staff to 38 residents is totally unacceptable.

Don`t ever be afraid of speaking up if things are worrying you at work.