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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2012

    I went and said a private goodbye to my sweet Dad.

    So many of you gave me comforting advice after I had posted about the death of my Dad, and the problems I had experienced with other family members. A decision needed to be made about what path I chose to take. I believed I had to stand strong in what were Dads wishes and I knew I could not go to the funeral feeling as I did.

    My husband and I went to say a private goodbye to my Dad on Wednesday at the funeral home.

    After a lot of heart searching I decided it was the best thing to do.
    Because of the delay in the funeral, the funeral director advised me that under the circumstances,I should have him embalmed.
    This was distressing in itself, but I did feel I wanted to see him properly to say my fond farewells. You will know that I had not seen my dad since before Christmas, after only leaving hospital myself the Friday before he died.
    I knew it was going to be difficult and I would struggle with my emotions, so the night before I decided to pour out my heart in a letter to him.

    I told him how much I loved and missed him and said I was sorry for anything that I might have done to upset him. I thanked him for a happy childhood and for working so hard with my Mum to give me a good education. I thanked him for treating all his grand children equally and for accepting my two step children as his grand children too.In fact for all the happy memories we all had.
    I told him his eldest great grand daughter had recently passed her first year nursing exams at university..........he would have been so proud as education was very important to him.

    When we arrived after our long journey at the funeral home everyone was so kind.
    I was so afraid to see my Dad in death, but other than floods of tears I managed to cope all right. My dear husband asked me if I wanted him to read out my letter that I had written to Dad, which I did.
    It made me feel better because I knew that on that day I would never be able to express all the feelings that I wanted him to know. We left the letter tucked in Dads hands and I kissed him goodbye for the final time.

    On Monday, the day of the actual funeral, my children and grand children will go and pay my respects along with their own. My husband and I are going to a quiet place just to think about Dad and give thanks for his life.

    Talking point has been a true God sent place for me to be at a very difficult time, and I thank you all for your caring and sensitivity when I know you are coping with so many problems of your own.
    God Bless you all

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    West Yorkshire
    Hello needabrandy, I am pleased that you were able to say a private goodbye to your dad. The letter was a lovely way to express what you feel for your dad. TP is always here when you need it.


  3. #3
    Registered User sussexsue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    West Sussex
    What a lovely way to say goodbye to your Dad. I am sure you will have gained so much more from that than in a stressful situation at the funeral. Maybe by sharing your beautiful and heartfelt letter with us you have created your own personal farewell ceremony to your dad.

    Sue xx

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Needabrandy, thank you for sharing that, sounds like you said goodbye to your Dad in a very special way. Take care x

  5. #5
    Registered User Christin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Blog Entries
    Hello, I am pleased that you were able to take this opportunity to say goodbye, privately, to your sweet dad.

    It is a very moving post, and I believe a wonderful thing to thank your father for all he did. I really hope this gives you some comfort and support.

    My very best wishes to you xx

  6. #6
    Registered User BeckyJan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Blog Entries
    Hello Needabrandy,

    Thanks for sharing this with us. I am so pleased you managed a private goodbye to your lovely Dad and also that your husband is so supportive and understanding too. The letter sounds very special and I hope you found comfort writing and letting your husband read it out to your Dad.

    I feel for your sadness and hope that the quiet time helps you find some peace and consolation.
    Former Carer and Volunteer Moderator

    'Hope is a lover's staff, walk hence with that and manage it against despairing thoughts' (Shakespeare)

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  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Yorkshire England
    Hi Needabrandy,

    Thanks for sharing your special moment with us.

    I did the same as you, I wrote Mum a 5 page letter (which my best friend read out to her) and placed it in her hand along with half of a silver heart (I wear the other half) and a cross, lots of family photo's and her favourite soft toy which she called Brian.

    I went to mum's funeral but I wanted to spend time alone with her, without any of my family present.

    I wish you comfort and strengh in the coming weeks and months.

    Alicejude XX


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