Is their anybody on here who is around 20?

[Nicola_10]

Hellooo, I'm Laura and I am 19, Mum was diagnosed with alzhiemers last year at 49, I have had some lovely support over the last few months on joining it has been overwhelming. Every one has been a lot older than me & I was wondering if their is anyone out their a similar age to me to talk to as well? thank you xxx

Hey Laura, I'm Nicola and I'm 22. This is my first post so forgive me for not really knowing what to say, other than my grandfather had Alzheimer's and I'd be happy to talk to you if you wanted

[cristina173]

Hey Laura,
I just joined this because of link on the Alzheimer's twitter page. I'm 21 years old and my mum was diagnosed last year when i was 20. I too would also like to talk to someone my own age and completely understand the difficulty of trying to find someone who really understands what your going through. Regardless if we are at an age where we are seen as "adults" early twenties is still so young and its hard to come to terms with such sad news and i dont know about you but no matter how hard my friends try to comfort me i cant help but think that they dont know how it feels. Its a horrible disease for anyone to have to go through and maybe its selfish for me to say this but being this age and having a parent with AD is even harder because we are still dependent on them to such a large extent. Id be more than happy to speak to you and let you vent because we all need to do it.

Hope you get this

C

[AnnieAP]

Hi Laura,

I'm 25 and my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's almost 6 years ago. It's really hard isn't it?! I hope you and your dad are doing okay and still finding things to smile and laugh about.

What do you think your coping strategy is for dealing with all this? I'm guessing from the fact that you've been speaking to people on here that you've already taken the best piece of advice I could give you, which is to talk to people and let them support you. It took me a very long time to cotton on to that, so nice one for getting there so quickly! I think the one other really important thing to do is to let yourself feel sad sometimes - my sister saw a counsellor who suggested giving herself a bit of time each week to just cry. It can be so hard when you are caring for others to let yourself do that, or to let yourself do that without worrying that it means you're not coping, but I think it's really important.

Struggling with the impossibly difficult task of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's is so tough. I have found it especially difficult to accept because my mum, like yours, was so young when she was diagnosed, I feel like she was stolen from me far too soon. I don't know what stage your mum is at and whether she is still able to to communicate with you, but I'm sure she is immensely proud of you and how you are dealing with such difficult things. Keep talking and keep feeling proud of yourself for being so strong.

To the young gentleman who also replied to you and expressed how difficult it is to have to step up and look after your family while all your friends are living responsibilty and care-free - I take my hat off to you, sir. I was slightly older than you when my moment came to look after my younger sisters and to support my dad, but I know how hard it is and how much you have to sacrifice. Again, I hope you realise how proud your dad would be of you, and I hope you give yourself time to be an irresponsible teenager!

I hope you are both being kind to yourselves and ensuring you look after you as well as your families around you (it took my boyfriend a very long time and even some shouting to get that one through to me!)

With compassion and support,

Annie

[nicoise]

Hello to all you younger TP members,

I'm so pleased you are finding each other - whatever comes out of these connections, just knowing there are others out there in a similar situation will be of help.

I feel dreadfully selfish feeling sorry for myself having lost my Mum when I was 50 - at least I had the opportunity to enjoy many years with her, into my more senior years. I have been spoilt in many ways.

You are most definitely justified in feeling anger at your loss, the deprivation of your parent too young. It is indeed cruel; and more so because your contemporaries will not have the same experience on the whole and thus finding support is so much more difficult.

Please do come here to TP for support and information - we are all here because we are struggling with the common enemy...

Much love to you all xxx

[CollegeGirl]

Hello all you young-uns, like nicoise I'm also glad you're finding each other. I can't imagine how I would have coped if my mam had had alzheimer's when I was only in my 20s. I'm in my late 40s and am having difficulty coming to terms with it - I really feel for you all. I have two daughters, one a teenager and one in her early 20s, and if it was me with Alzheimer's I'd be appalled if they were left to cope with it alone.

I hope you get all the emotional support you need from each other and am so pleased that you are in touch - although it's tragic that there are so many of you.

With love and best wishes.

xx

[carolineAP]

Hi Laura,

I'm 23 - as you may have guessed from our usernames I'm Annie who has already replied on here's sister, so you already know a bit about our situation. Our mum was a similar age to yours when she was diagnosed - I was 18.

As Annie mentioned I have seen a counsellor -I found that really helpful. I think it's really important to be able to talk to people and be honest about how you're feeling. Sometimes I felt angry and felt like I didn't care about my Mum anymore. It took talking to people to realise that a) I wasn't bad for feeling like that and b) that I did still care desperately - I was just trying to shut her out to make it easier. Spend time with your Mum but don't feel bad if you get frustrated. Don't feel bad about asking for help - tell someone you trust at school or uni or work so if you have a bad week or things get tough you've already explained and the support is already there.

Look after each other as a family - laugh when you can. I cherish how strong we have become as a unit through this and that is something we will never lose.

I don't think you're ever ready to lose a parent, but it's so hard when you're still growing up and haven't established your life and there's so much they'll miss. I sometimes am so angry and jealous with people, even friends, who don't seem to appreciate how lucky they are to have their mums still. (especially on day's like Mother's Day). Sometimes it's so hard to have to be responsible all the time.

If there was anything specific you wanted to ask about feel free.

Caroline

[mllecfox]

Hi Laura,

My name's Caroline and I'm 23. Three of my grandparents suffer from Alzheimer's. I'm new to the forum but definitely think it would be useful to chat to someone my own age as well as the other members on here about problems and support for one another. I'm sorry to hear about your mum and would be happy to speak to you if you want to get in touch any time.

Take care Laura,
Caroline

[LauraKx]

Wow! I cant believe how many people have been intouch. Thank you so much. To everybody that has posted on this thread, & the same goes to everybody, please please message me to if anybody wants somebody to talk to. I definitely agree that you do need some time just to have a little cry. I will be glad when I am able to control my emotions, If I hear any body talk about Alzheimers, if somebody comes on the TV with the disease or anything to do with it I just cry and sulk and sit feeling sorry for myself Lol.

Thank again, My thoughts and Love are with you all xxxx

[princess_bear]

Hellooo, I'm Laura and I am 19, Mum was diagnosed with alzhiemers last year at 49, I have had some lovely support over the last few months on joining it has been overwhelming. Every one has been a lot older than me & I was wondering if their is anyone out their a similar age to me to talk to as well? thank you xxx

Dear Laura, I am in my 20s too, and so is my sister. My mum (58) has a rare type of dementia called PCA but same stuff really. Totally here to talk to you if you need. Feel free to drop me a line. Much love xxxxxx

[princess_bear]

Hi Caroline, I am also in my 20s and finding this super hard at the moment as my mum seems to be progressing quite fast. Would love to stay in touch.

Nikki x

Hi Laura,

My name's Caroline and I'm 23. Three of my grandparents suffer from Alzheimer's. I'm new to the forum but definitely think it would be useful to chat to someone my own age as well as the other members on here about problems and support for one another. I'm sorry to hear about your mum and would be happy to speak to you if you want to get in touch any time.

Take care Laura,
Caroline

[orchid8809]

Hi Laura,

I am 23 and since I was 17 my dad has had dementia - he was only 56 when he was diagnosed. I completely know how you feel - at that point I felt really alone and no-one knew anything about how I was feeling because no-one was going through the same thing!

My dads condition has progressed much further, and whilst he is stable now, he has had a stroke which has seriously impaired his abilities to talk and communicate so for me personally I really am unable to see how much of a grasp dementia has over my dad.

I really wish I had come on a site like this much earlier as I know there are some lovely people around and a lot of support if you look for it! Don't bottle everything up like I did (still do). there is a lot of help around! If you want to chat some more let me know!

Aimee

[whendoesitend]

Hi all, hope you're doing well.

I'm 27 and we've been carers (me and mum) for grandad since I was 11 (1996). Back then it wasn't too bad as it wasn't overly regular as he was still mobile/mid 60's and drank heavily so spent a lot of time in pubs or asleep.

Post 2003 (my dad died) he gave up more and more to the point of 2005 where we had to seriously step in.

2010 onwards we h ad to step in and do everything for him, take him to all appointments and sit in as he never remembered anything/couldn't walk well etc.

2011 he was diagnosed finally with dementia (took us forever to fight his doctor for a referral) and well here we are now.

He's not a nice man, he is very abusive physically, mentally and emotionally so it hasn't been easy and is getting harder the more the dementia takes hold.


Wish you all well x

[SarahMP]

Hi Everyone,

My Dad was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's last year (he's 51). Im 21 and in my final year of university, really having a hard time dealing with coming to terms with his diagnosis, and how much it has already changed him and my family.

My finals are in a matter of weeks and I would really appreciate any advice anyone could give to help me get around the stress and deal with things, even just for the next few weeks.

Would really like to talk to anyone who's been in a similar situation. I'm also 8 hours away from home, which makes visiting very hard.

Sarah xxx

[wjoanne918]

Hi Everyone,

My Dad was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's last year (he's 51). Im 21 and in my final year of university, really having a hard time dealing with coming to terms with his diagnosis, and how much it has already changed him and my family.

My finals are in a matter of weeks and I would really appreciate any advice anyone could give to help me get around the stress and deal with things, even just for the next few weeks.

Would really like to talk to anyone who's been in a similar situation. I'm also 8 hours away from home, which makes visiting very hard.

Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,
I think the best advice i could give you is to try and concentrate on your finals at the mo because unfortunatley this awful disease will be there long after they have finished and your well on your way to your chosen career. I live 8 doors away from my parents and when my mum was diagnosed 7 years ago (also at 51) i felt i had no escape from it (still dont) and it may sound really heartless but something our support workers have always said to us is that if we dont look after ourselves then we'll have no chance of looking after mum.
I remeber the first year after mam was diagnosed, it felt thats all I saw on tv, radio everywhere was Alzheimer's but as time went on i noticed it a little less and learnt to accept mum had changed but was just gratefull she was still here.
Try and stay positive Sarah and take time for yourself, this site is a godsend at times, you'll always find someone to chat too, someone who knows how you feel.
Jo xx

[VJA]

Hi Laura, my dad was 59 when he started showing quite advanced symptoms of dementia and I was 21. I was (and am) his only relative and next of kin, and consequently have always been very involved. I am 35 now and he has recently had a psychotic break and been moved from a secure old peoples home to a high security psychiatric hospital which has been very unsettling for both of us. I couldn't find anyone my sort of age at the time which I think would have helped me a lot so I hope you find the support you have already received on here helpful - you are definitely not alone! My advice would be to make sure the situation doesn't overwhelm you and make time for yourself as well as for your family. I used to feel too guilty to go on holiday as he had no one else to visit but ended up making myself ill with stress. Take care x