all by myself

[kassy]

Chucky i'm so sorry to read your thread.

When my mum was very ill with dementia,so many people said i should concentrate on my husband,and not mum.I couldn't do that,mum needed me,luckily hubby has coped with it all.Its been a rocky road for us,still is at times,but we're still together.Dementia robs us of so much.

Thinking of you.x

[chucky]

Thanks to all for your support and kindness. When times are tough its great to know all my TP friends are here for me. You are all amazing people, no matter the problem one of you always knows what to do. Im fine, im ok and looking forwards not back. After the trials and trauma of dementia caring, my skin is so thick its Rhino tested! It will take a better person than him to get me down. love to all x

[CollegeGirl]

Thanks to all for your support and kindness. When times are tough its great to know all my TP friends are here for me. You are all amazing people, no matter the problem one of you always knows what to do. Im fine, im ok and looking forwards not back. After the trials and trauma of dementia caring, my skin is so thick its Rhino tested! It will take a better person than him to get me down. love to all x

Have just re-read my post and decided to delete as I felt I was too abrupt. Heartfelt apologies Chucky if you've already read it, and I want to wish you tons of luck for the future and here is a big {{{{hug}}}}. You do sound very upbeat and I hope you continue to feel okay about everything. Best wishes xx

[mrs pepperpot]

i was begining to think i was the only person who's OH cant deal with mums AD,, if im honest, ive been feeling too ashamed to admit that he is more of a problem than mum.

[JoshuaTree]

Just wanted to send you a big cyber hug too.
I don't really know what to say.
Keep strong x

[chucky]

College girl, dont worry about it, sometimes the written word sounds harsher than the spoken. Im ok and under no illusions of what my future may or may not be, for the time being my parents are my first priority and if im guilty of neglecting my relationship sobeit. I am fine with it, and still feel relief to be honest. I think it was spineless of him to text me after he left the house, that shows the measure of him, that he couldnt even say it to my face. I wont mourn my relationship, its over, done and dusted. I felt yesterday maybe I was being a bit abrupt and somehow i'd turned to stone with no feeling. I realise i didnt have the feelings for him i should have after 12 years. I know im not immune to hurt and pain, i still cry when things get tough but there will be no tears for him. Its sad really and i wish him well. Thanks again to all for your kind words and support, its good to be able to share the good and the bad of how caring for someone with dementia puts life in perspective. xx p.s. mrs pepperpot dont feel ashamed for sharing your thoughts, some men just arent capable of empathy and yours sounds just like mine. Thanks also to joshuatree for the hug x

[Owly]

sorry, edited out.

[Redwitch]

Chucky i'm so sorry to read your thread.

When my mum was very ill with dementia,so many people said i should concentrate on my husband,and not mum.I couldn't do that,mum needed me,luckily hubby has coped with it all.Its been a rocky road for us,still is at times,but we're still together.Dementia robs us of so much.

Sorry to read your thread Chucky, but you have too much on your plate to worry about people that aren't prepared to step in and help you out. 12 years is a lifetime for some and a blink of the eye to others. I like Kassy am very fortunate to have a good man that supports me, however, friends of 20 years have walked away.

I admire your outlook, so onwards and upwards

(((HUG)))

Jan

[bambam26]

Hi Chucky,

Sorry to hear your news and hope you are ok,

Sometimes i wish my Fiancee would leave me. She is the most caring, beautiful girl in the world and is so good with my Mam and Dad but sometimes, no most of the time i feel i am not good enough for her and that she deserves so much better then what i can give her, I want to be able to give her 100% of my time and energy which is just not possible

[CollegeGirl]

College girl, dont worry about it, sometimes the written word sounds harsher than the spoken.

Thanks Chucky, I just felt that the tone of my message (being "you're better off without him") was wrong; what do I know about it, it's not something that I've experienced after all. And now that sounds very smug! I just can't seem to say the right words. Oh well Chucky, I'd best content myself with wishing you all the luck in the world and letting you know that I'm thinking of you and hope things turn out okay for you and your parents. xx

[Crikey]

chucky, sending my love and support to you as well.

[Dazmum]

Lots of support and a big hug for you Chucky xxx

[jussiejus]

Hi Chucky, I have just re read your thread and you know what I think that all of us want at times a huge hug and to know we have people around us who care and who really know what we are all going through, SO I am going to suggest, inspired by you, a huge GROUP HUG so all of us who care, if you want to cut and paste or just write:





" H U G S "















XXXXXXXXXX

[JCS]

My OH of 12 years walked out on me today. Why do i feel such a sense of relief. Why am i not upset. Why did i just say goodbye without a fight. Are we immune to pain other than what we feel for our loved one with dementia.

I'm living 40 miles away from my OH to be near my dad, who was taken into secure care last week, for 6 weeks I've been dashing back and fore trying to see dad and see my OH. When I do see OH we end up in a fight or just not talking. After leaving for work this morning he sent a text saying "I'm not happy" closely followed by "Don't come back till the weekend, I need time to think". So, I expect to be in the same situation as you shortly. And I have to say I do understand your relief. Won't it just be easier to deal with one issue rather than try turn off the upset and worry about dad and try be "normal" with OH?
I want to sort things out with him, but all my fight goes into dealing with my dad, I am exhausted by it and can't fight with the man I love too. So I understand your feelings completely.
I cannot imagine my life without OH, but I won't give up on my dad, so if he wants to go, that's it.
Be strong, big hug xxxx