I knew this moment would come ... my mother (81, diagnosed with AD last summer and currently on 10mg of Aricept) lives next door to me and has spent the day here, having coffee, lunch and watching Morse (which somehow she manages to follow much better than me!). She went home at about 4pm to ring a friend and at 8pm I got a phone call - "I was just ringing to see if Grandma's OK" - Grandma (her mother) died in 1987. When I said "sorry, I didn't catch that" she said "I was ringing to see if Grandma's OK - she was sitting on your sofa when I left".
Now I know you're really supposed to go along with these sort of comments but this is the first time she has mentioned Grandma still being alive and I rather panicked. Rather than continue the phone call I told her I'd be along and went to her house. She greeted me with "so is she OK?". I was concerned that if I said "yes" she would want to see her and that might complicate things even more so I tried to explain gently that Grandma was dead and that she hadn't been sitting on my sofa. Well, Mum just looked so confused, then there were tears, then some kind of recollection as I went through what we'd done today and then she said "I don't want to lose my mind".
It was heartbreaking. I know many of you have been through this and go through this on a regular basis but the first time it happens has been a horrible shock and I'm concerned I said the wrong thing. I think I'll have to come up with a plausible answer just in case it happens again - as Grandma lived with Mum for the last few years of her life (before getting Dementia herself) I don't think I could say that she'd gone home as I don't know where Mum would think "home" was and that might cause more problems than enough if she started looking for Grandma in her own home. I really don't want to be caught in a lie.
Any suggestions would be very gratefully received - it's hard to think when the blood is rushing to your brain and alarm bells are going off in your head!