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  1. #1
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    Mum has had a fall

    I had the shock of my life today. I called at Mums as usual on my way to work at 7.50 am and she was led across the bottom of the stairs, her eyes were staring, I thought that she had gone. I shouted her name and she weakly responded. I rang 999 and they got her to hospital. After a series of x rays she is just badly bruised, mainly head and face. She has tonight been moved into a care home that specialises in dementia, initially for 2 weeks. She is in a lot of pain and couldnt walk very well at all, they gave her a frame. The problem we have as a family is she lives with my 45 year old brother who has downs syndrome. He just wants his mum, but she cannot go back to where there is stairs, she fell at the top of the stairs last week. Its a local authority house. We have decisions to make, my brother will feel it, they just want to be together, but it may not be possible.
     

  2. #2
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    I'm sorry to hear about this, it must have been a horrible shock for you to find your mum in such a state (it sounds as though she was suffering from shock - in the medical sense - too).

    There will no doubt be some difficult decisions to make but it sounds as though your mum simply isn't safe on stairs.

    I take it from the fact you're on here, that she has some form of dementia and I'm assuming she is elderly.

    In that case it is fortunate indeed that there were no broken bones. The elderly can fracture a hip terrifyingly easily, these have to be repaired surgically and the trauma and general anaesthesia can make for huge problems in combination with dementia.

    I hope you manage to get things sorted.
     

  3. #3
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    What a frightening experience for you all. Glad to here that things have moved swiftly in providing your mum with support, but sorry to hear that your brother is worried and distressed. He must have had a very disrupted day and tomorrow morning will feel strange for him without his mum there.

    Have you had any previous discussions with SS or CMHT about the future for both of them? Could the local authority re-house them to a bungalow? What care and supervision does your brother need if your mum can't look after him herself? Could there be a residential home that could take both of them?

    I would advise getting as much support as you can to investigate a number of options. In particular, the Down's Syndrome Association http://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/ because this must be a very common situation where an elderly parent becomes unable to look after their child at home. They may have some particular guidance on how to make a successful transition to altered living arrangements.
     

  4. #4
    Oh dear!

    It is difficult enough having the worry about your mother but worrying about your brother too makes it complicated.
    I can`t imagine the outcome but it looks as if painful decisions will need to be made.

    So sorry.

    Sylvia

    Former Carer and Volunteer Moderator .

    I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet

    About me
     

  5. #5
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    Thank you all. They both have a Social worker. My brother comes up young peoples and my mum Elderly. She is almost 85 and has alzheimers. He is very caring towards her. They go to a local social club together, and I take them out a lot too. They just usually ask what arrangements we have made if she has to go in a home. I will contact the downs syndrome association. Thanks again
     

  6. #6
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    Life is so hard sometimes,the worry of a parent with alzheimers is hard enough but to have the added worry of your brother must be soul destroying.Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you.Not much help I know.
     

  7. #7
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    Hi thanks for your kind wishes. Just been and visited. she is very bruised. GP been and prescribed some soluble paracetomol. Neck very painful. She wanted to leave with us when we were going. The home are very kind just hope she improves soon and we can find a solution
     

  8. #8
    I had a very similar situation. When Mum had her firstTIA I was living at home with her and helping to look after my younger sister who has severe learning difficulties. She was upset as well as she couln't understand why Mum had collapsed on the floor. I was panic stricken trying to help Mum and Annie at the same time but thanks to a really supportive community nurse anne was in a temp care home by the afternoon which turned into a permanent one and she settled really well and we were all very happy. We can visit her any time we like and it's as if she has another family unit. I hope the same happens with your brother.

    Jude
     

  9. #9
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    Thank you for your kind thoughts. Will be going to visit mum in an hour or so. She is in a lot of pain with her head but GP refused to come, he gave paracetemol yesterday. Its such a worry
     

  10. #10
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    Just an update. Mum continues to improve. From walking stiffly between 2 people, to a frame, to walking on her own. She is hard work, wanting to come home all the time. The people in there are much worse, spitting food out etc, pulling clothes down. I emailed the downs syndrome society as someone suggested a fortnight ago and to date havent had a reply. Social worker finished her leave on tuesday so met up with us on wednesday. The only suggestions are get OT to look at her local authority house with a view to her having dining room as a bedroom and putting downstairs toilet etc in. We would have to put a stair gate on to stop her going upstairs, but would still allow my brother to go up.She mentioned pressure mats through telecare, and roving? care where they are checked on in the night? She has asked the home to monitor sleep patterns. The only other alternative is to see if the housing authority has a ground floor flat or bungalow
     

  11. #11
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    Mum is well on the road to recovery. We have had her on outings, shopping, church etc. She seems a bit unsteady at times but I think this is a progression of the illness. We are finding it hard staying with my brother each night and visits, she doesnt like in there , the staff do their best, but its not a place we would choose. We came up with a plan to have her home. Dining room into bedroom, commode for night use until they could fit a toilet, and soft stair gate on for my brother. However, the social worker came today with OT and said a gate wouldnt be safe. They want her to stay in there and one of us take our brother to live with us. We arent happy, we just feel we should give it a go. If it doesnt work out then we would have to look for somewhere else. They kept on and on about money, there wouldnt be enough etc. It so upsetting
     

  12. #12
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    We are hoping to bring Mum home thursday , we can only try it. Social Services not been helpful. We are having stair gate on so my brother can go upstairs, mums bed dining room and a comode. She will be able to go upstairs to bathroom with us or carers and comode rest of time. She is doing well apart from her head. Didnt have a problem before but since fall her head is down, I wonder if its whiplash from the fall? Depression? shes low at the moment. Any hints or tips will be useful. We will stay first few nights, and have lamps on downstairs for her to potter around.
     

  13. #13
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    you are obviously caring for your mum incredibly well .... I am sure there are people who know more than me but this sounds amazing ...
     

  14. #14
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    Thank you Butter. It can only be a trial, David wants his Mum home. I work full time, but there is my other sister and 2 brothers so we will try it out. Just wish Social Services were more forthcoming. We are apprehensive but will see if we can do it for David. We are his voice. Just wish you didnt have to fight for care. Im sick of hearing I will see what I can squeeze out of the care package. They are two vulnerable adults who want to be together. David had nothing for 44 years
     

 

 

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