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  1. #16
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    968
    Im with Butter on this one, i would refuse to go. Putting our loved ones in care is traumatic enough for the carer, they shouldnt expect you to do their job. My dad often takes his clothes off, ive no idea why, but the staff usually manage to get him dressed eventually with a little persuasion. It beggars belief that they dont know how to deal with a resident that wont get dressed, surely they must see this scenario now and again. I was asked once if i would go to the CH to bathe or shower my dad and i said no, thats what they get paid for. My dad was and still is a demon when it comes to getting washed and he will fight to the death to avoid it. He kicks, bites, scratches, nips, punches, and belt you with any object near to his hand, the cistern lid is one example. He does this every day and has done since he went into care 4 years ago. They have never once asked me or told me he'd need to be removed and im sure there must be others who have challenging behaviour. They should not be putting this on your doorstep, stay strong and dont be talked into anything you dont want to do. I feel for you and your poor dad but he needs more care than you can provide. Leave it to them to find the solution.
     

  2. #17
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    hertfordshire
    Posts
    264
    head banging is nearly over I think. Thanks for all the replies just to let you know what stage we are at now

    Was at the care home all day and we finally got the call at 5.30pm to say they had found dad a bet at a mental health unit. Its about half hour away so not to bad.

    We got there and then had to wait a further three hours as the lady that was being discharged was still waiting for transport. Then they had to make sure that when they took her home she was not going to want to come back again so they could not give her bed away until they were convinced she did not want it (lots of head banging going on believe me)

    Anyway, while all this was happening dad was marching up and down like a German Soldier and apparently talking in German. (not in a million years can he speak German )

    He was very calm I must admit but that could of been the sleeping tablet/mood stabilizer they gave him but at least we got him there.

    Not allowed to visit for the first week should not smile at that but to be honest could do with getting my brain back into gear.

    He had a calm night but today (I am allowed to ring at least), he was ok in the morning but by lunchtime was convinced that some of the other patients were going to steal his food and was becoming agitated, the good thing is that the staff to patient ratio is 1.2 so a carer is sitting with him in his room and the wording is that he is being "contained"

    Must admit that the unit and staff are great and I only met them for a few hours.

    The psychiatric doctor said that dad has a severe case of dellusion, hallucination, aggression etc basically HE IS NUTS

    So much more happened but I am a bit brain dead at the moment did not get home till midnight last night by the time that everything was sorted.

    To top it all I was driving and the brake lights kept coming on the car panel so called the AA and I had no brake fluid and a split cylinder where it had all been leaking out, so had to be towed home

    The good thing is I am now driving a very nice 12 plate ford focus for three days while my car gets repaired

    Reckon mum was saying thank you
    carer on the sideline but never far away
     

  3. #18
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    NeverNeverLand
    Posts
    6,717
    Blog Entries
    1
    I'm so glad he is safe
     

  4. #19
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    hertfordshire
    Posts
    264
    Hi all, I am sorry if I did not acknowledge some of the replies. I think you just tend to skim through trying to find a quick solution. Which of course there is not.

    Dad is still kicking of been four days now and I have to go for a meeting with the doctor's tomorrow and then definitely I am taking a couple of days off

    Reading through some post's tonight makes you realise that I am not alone and neither are any of you. We are all sailing the same boat, maybe at different times but I hope things for all of us will get there.

    Sue
    x
    carer on the sideline but never far away
     

 

 

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