Toilet problems, please help

[Sotired]

Hi to anyone kind enough to read this, I'm looking for some advice about my dad as he keeps forgetting to use the toilet and keeps urinating in the sink leaving an awful mess, every time he goes I always remind him to "please use the toilet" but 9 times out of 10 I go in after him to find he has forgotten, I have a young toddler at home with us and feel like I can't turn my back for even a moment in case she wanders in there without me realising he's been, any help or advice would be greatly appreciated x

[Grannie G]

I can`t help you but I just want to say how I feel for you.

It is obvious your dad is thoroughly confused and no longer recognises the toilet for what it is. The only suggestion I can make is to ask for a referral to a continence nurse. Your GP will be able to refer you.

[Scraggedbloke]

Hiya Sotired

I would try two things.

1. Take him to the toilet on a regular basis.

2. Encourage him to sit on the WC, rather than stand.

[All men should be encouraged to sit instead of stand]

It's just a thought


ScraggEd

[angiep]

Hi to anyone kind enough to read this, I'm looking for some advice about my dad as he keeps forgetting to use the toilet and keeps urinating in the sink leaving an awful mess, every time he goes I always remind him to "please use the toilet" but 9 times out of 10 I go in after him to find he has forgotten, I have a young toddler at home with us and feel like I can't turn my back for even a moment in case she wanders in there without me realising he's been, any help or advice would be greatly appreciated x

Hi, my mum started off the same way but I'm sorry to say things are going to get a lot worse....have you contacted the doctors who will then put you in touch with the incontinence nurse who will supply some pads ect....

[Sotired]

Thank you to grannie g and scragged for your replies i will contact our gp to see if we can be referred to a continence nurse and such a good idea to get him to sit rather than stand i will try that next time he says he needs a toilet

[tre]

I read something about a chap who started weeing in the corner of various rooms in the house and this was explained by the fact he used to work outdoors in the woods, the corners of the house were dark and so he was getting muddled because of the dementia. When the lighting was improved so that the corners were not dark it stopped. Do you think there is any possibility that your dad could be perceiving the sink as a urinal? Is the sink the first thing he sees i.e right in front on him when he walks in to the loo?
Could you maybe try either covering up the sink maybe with a towel the same colour as the walls so it was not so obvious, improving the lighting in the loo and maybe putting a contrasting colour seat on the loo or even some contrasting sticky tape around the edge of the seat as a temporary measure to see if this makes it easier for him to find the toilet. Do you have more than one loo in the house and if so does he pee in the sink in both?
Tre

[Sotired]

Hi, my mum started off the same way but I'm sorry to say things are going to get a lot worse....have you contacted the doctors who will then put you in touch with the incontinence nurse who will supply some pads ect....

Thank you angiep I have just called them and left a message I hope they can help me

[Sotired]

Lots of good ideas thank you tre, he uses 2 different toilets in the house and does the same in both of them, in both of them the sink is the first thing he sees so it could be because he's in a rush and that's the nearest thing to him ? I have just bought him joggers to wear to make it easier rather than having to mess around with belts and zips etc thought it would improve things but doesn't seem to have made much difference other than the fact there warm and comfortable for him.

[sonia owen]

Hi,

They say that the colour red is the last one to go from the brain with this illness. At our Day Centre, they have changed the loo seat, soap container, paper towel unit to red.
They say its hard for the suffer to work out where the floor begins and the toilet starts, if they are more or less the same shade.
Just a thought.
Hope you are able to get some help with what is becoming a problem for you.
Take care.
Love Sonia xxxxx

[angiep]

I know what your going through and there's no let up we had carers for about a year to assist with mum washing changing her as she lived with my dad of 80 yrs and I used to change her at night and weekends as I only lived next door but what with every thing else thats goes on with dementia we had to take the awfull step of putting her in a home at xmas its a long long slog and its still going on as shes not settling in at all.

keep your chin up as your not alone xxx

[chucky]

my dad is the same and has been doing it for all the 7 years he's had dementia. Cups, bins, doors, drawers, handbags, even my leg at one point. As some here will know the day my dad stood and peed up my leg i stood there and let him do it with tears blinding me. It was harrowing to see what he was reduced to, in his mind he needed the toilet so he did it. I even caught him one day when he was still in the house peeing in the grill pan on the cooker!! In his CH everything toilet wise is red but he still doesnt know or understand what hes to do. I usually have to take him right to the pan and "point physically" if you know what i mean, in the right direction. 9 times out of 10 it goes on the floor. I also tried getting him to sit when doing the toilet but he resisted every time. If he needs, he goes, and not just urine. Theres been many an incident when having opened his bowels it comes flying through the air and he has the uncanny knack of hitting his target square on!!! I have tried all sorts and have never found a solution. I hope it will stop one day the poor soul would be horrified if he knew what he was doing. I keep an open mind now and can actually laugh it off but its taken me 7 years to learn theres no point in worrying about it. Sadly its another part of this cruel disease that robs the person of everything including their dignity.

[Sox]

Hello Sotired - how I feel for you, it must be so difficult especially with a todler in the house. When my husband started peeing all down his legs & over the floor etc I gave him a small bowl to hold and pee into. It has worked well - I have to give it to him each time but maybe if you started off with your Father he may remember to use it if you could put it in a prominent place. Sadly he is now totally incontinent and doesn't even realise when he is doing anything but with constant toileting i.e. every 1 1/2 - 2 hours it is just about manageable. Nights are a different matter!! Good luck. Sox