Something was holding me DOWN!!
I twisted and turned, shouted and screamed, something was holding my wrists so tight I couldn’t move, I felt as I was being pinned down by an unknown force. It was pitch black and I was beginning to panic. I kicked my legs out furiously hoping to make contact with something, or even someone!! Time seemed to have stopped still as all I could hear was my heavy breathing and the beads of sweat ran down my face and made my eyes sting as the salty drops entered them. What do I do? Do I give in to this invisible force, do I let fate take its turn on me and just await the outcome?
The room seemed to becoming a little lighter, I relaxed a little and tried to look around me, trying to recognise where I was. Things started to come into focus as my eyes adapted to the light, and there she was, my “ANGEL” right in front of me, holding my wrists together on the bed and trying her level best not to panic. Her voice started to become soothing as I eventually emerged from this nightmare/night terror and relaxed a little more. I looked upon her reassuring face and felt a horror I had never felt before. The HARD HONEST TRUTH is Elaine had to try and hold down all the 19stone+ of me because I was shouting, kicking and screaming in my dream like state, and believe it or not, her first words were “I was trying to stop you from hurting YOURSEF!!!
What “COULD HAVE HAPPENED” is truly too horrible to think about, and the everlasting thought in my head ever since has been just that! “WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED” It was quite a while before any of us drifted off back to sleep and I have that sneaking feeling I fell asleep first as Elaine watched over me until I was back asleep.
This is the kind of thing nobody tells you might happen
This is the thing that sometimes “No one wants to talk about!!”
More importantly this is the kind of thing that loved ones and carer`s have to put up with on a nightly basis “YES NIGHTLY” not weekly or monthly but every single night!!!
Yet this is the kind of thing that happens all over the world every night and so many people are at a complete loss as what to do.
This is why we must keep up the awareness raising, the fight to bring ALL TYPES OF DEMENTIA out of the darkness and into the public domain, as I am sure, that the more people know, the more they will help, thankfully that is human nature