aggression

[quilter]

My husband - a kind and gentle man - has been diagnosed for 3 years. It was brought to a head by his aggression and violence towards me which was totally out of character, and made us seek help for him. When he was put on medication 2 years ago, the aggression stopped and we thought this was an end to it. Then it broke out again for 10 days in the summer. He managed to break through the bolt put on a door so I could shut myself away safely. He has asked his GP for help and been referred back to his psychiatrist. The GP referred him to the local NHS counselling service who assessed him and then said they cannot help him and referred him back to his G.P. He had been hoping for help in learning how to manage himself when he feels these moods coming on, as he doesn't want to behave how he does, but it seems there is nothing there to help him. He is very ashamed and hates being like that. I do not know how best to manage things either. My GP referred me to the NHS counselling service who said they could not help. I had been hoping to learn strategies and ways of calming things down - without, at the same time, behaving like a battered wife who never stands up for herself. His psychiatrist phoned to check whether I was all right or not and warned me that I should enjoy times when he was calm as the 'episodes' would be likely to return, since this was the kind of Alzheimer's he has got. I know to phone to police if I am in danger, and to go to the local refuge or a friend. But I would like to find ways of averting things before they reach that stage. Any ideas from those of you who have lived with this longer than I have?

[Canadian Joanne]

Hello Quilter and welcome to Talking Point (TP). I'm sorry to hear the runaround that you've been going through.

My mother's disease course was very turbulent, violent, aggressive and agitated during the early and middle stages. What we had to do was tweak her medication until we reached another equilibrium. I found we had to do this every 6 or 8 months.

Perhaps your husband's medications need to be reviewed. What medications is he on? Sometimes the time of the day a medication is taken needs to be changed, or a dosage increased or a complete change of drugs. With any drugs, careful monitoring needs to be done. Your husband shouldn't feel so badly because truly it is the disease. Unfortunately, that doesn't always console us. Let us know what happens.