My mum was taken into respite 4 weeks ago for 2 weeks. She hated it and was so unsettled espeically at sun downer time. She managed to escape from the locked unit which I only found out today when a friend who works at the hospital told me. She was found wandering around the hospital trying to get out the door. The staff never mentioned it to me at all. Mum came home on Monday but got into a panic at going back intpo her flat and wanted to leave, she wanted to go to my house and sleep on my couch ( it was like this before respite). We had already set up a care home for her to try and eventually we got her there under a fabricated story of going to visit a friend. When we got into the home she tried to leave and said she would wait outside as it gave her a horrible feeling. I liked the staff but none of them tried to make her feel welcome and when they showed us to her room it was filthy , with half eaten food on the drawers. The room stank of dried urine too. The home is dark and old and seems incared for.As I had no choice but to leave her there for the night I went home to research other homes. Mum hasnt got more that £20 000 in the bank and doesnt own her own home. She is on pension and is topped up by attendance allowance and credit. There is a council run home in our town that is lovely but we have been told that her money coming in will not cover it as they have to give her £22 a week pocket money and the rest will cover costs but she would have to top it up by £57 a week. The home is sunny and bright and the staff are always smiling and welcoming. ( my aunt is in there). Social services havent suggested any other homes to us apart from the one she is in and when I asked they said thats it.
Mum rang me today crying to come and get her as she hates it , she said its so dark in there. I am so tired and feel so guilty for not being able to look after her. Her flat was always a clean light and airy place but no longer safe to live in as she was wandering and doesnt know anyone anymore. I dont have the space at home for her as I have 3 children and my husband and I at home. Maybe I can pay the £57 a week to keep her in the council run home. Sorry I just needed to rant