Hello All, My sister's and I are in need of some help on what appears to be quite a taboo subject... uninhibited sexual behaviour and the viewing of "adult DVD's" in his care home.
Our whole world was turned upside down back in September when dad became a man we did not know overnight!! Of course in hindsight there had been lot's of very subtle changes in vocabulary and behaviour, which now make perfect sense. Dad has now been diagnosed with VaD. I used to work in an EMI unit, one of my sister's works in a care home and my youngest sister had no knowledge of dementia at all (with the help of your wonderful site this is no longer the case).
So let me get to the problem, dad believes that every lady that shows him kindness of any kind is his girlfriend, there have been two incidents where he has been found in ladies rooms "helping them". He doesn't comprehend that there is a problem and that these ladies are not his girlfriends. When he was at home (he lived with my youngest sister) he used to watch "adult films" which we were blissfully unaware of, we now know that they were always under lock and key. However he is requesting us to take them to the home for him to watch but our worry is will this make his behaviour worse or will it actually help him?????????????? I have spoken to a nurse at the home she suggested I speak to dads SW which I did today. He recommends a couple of weeks for dad to settle in properly to his new surroundings then we'll have a meeting between the relevant parties, which I agree with to a point but I don't want dad to feel a prisoner and that we are depriving him in any way.
This is not a common problem I know, but any incite or advice would be greatly received.
We are finding this aspect of his dementia so worrying as it is just not talked about and we are struggling to come to terms with it, although we will do anything to help him. He is a lovely caring man with a great sense of humour and we love him dearly.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, sorry I waffled on a bit. Kind regards to all of you, Elaine x