Worried about my dad

[Andrea2000]

Hi I wonder if anyone can give me advice.

My family have become concerned about my dad's memory loss over the last year or so. He has been to the doctor, who he has visited most of his adult life, three times now and he keeps saying that my dad needs to keep his brain active, and that his loss is due to it not being used. I am not so sure.

His short term memory is steadily getting worse, at first he forgot places, where he was going and where he had been, but he just laughed it off. Now he is getting stressed and anxious about forgetting things. He repeats questions over and over even though they are answered immediately. He gets concerned about money, bills etc, and doesn't have the confidence to tackle things. Yesterday I helped him with his car tax, he was worried because he just couldn't understand anything and was anxious. We needed a copy of his MOT and rang the garage. I found out later that he had walked tp the garage because he thought his car was there for a service, he had forgotten why he needed to go there. This morning he has completely forgotten that we sorted out his tax.

My dad is only 65 and used to be so active and on the ball, this is worrying everyone and also my dad, even though he won't admit it. When he has gone to the doctors with my mum, my dad tends to shrug things off, and I'm not sure his doctor sees the full picture even though my mum has tried to explain things. Please can you advise me. I want to be able to help my dad before it is too late. Thank you.

I forgot to say my aunty has dementia, she is in her seventies, and another aunty has early dementia, again in her seventies. They are both my dads sisters.

[JACKRAY]

Hi my Dad started showing signs of dementia at the age of 65, (he is now 77) he was diagnosed with Alzheimers approx 7 years ago. It was a struggle just to get him to the doctors but once we had a foot in the door we didn't give up! He was quickly refered to hospital and underwent lots of tests that were sometimes very time consuming and stressful to a elderly person but we carried on as we knew in our heart of hearts that it was dementia! He was quickly put on Aricept which for a while worked wonders and he had a couple of years of not forgetting anything or unusual behaviour. He now has gotten worse but we have a wonderful team of people who look after him at home with my mother as his main carer. I would reccomend you perservere with the doctors to get your Dad the best care possible earlier rather than later. Ofcourse it all depends on where you live, we were lucky.
Good luck

[Sandy]

Hi Andrea,

Welcome to Talking Point (TP).

Many younger people (65 and under) can have difficulty getting an accurate assessment of their memory problems.

Sometime the GP's attitude (depending on how much they know about dementia and modern treatments) can seem almost unhelpful.

The main issue now is that your dad's memory problems are making him anxious and undermining his confidence.

Has anyone gone along with your dad to his appointments up until now?

I would recommend making a list of incidents like the car tax/garage example and then go along with your dad to his next appointment. If you don't feel that you can discuss these things candidly in front of your dad, you might want to write to the GP in advance of the appointment (we handed a letter to the receptionist in the surgery just before the appointment).

The main thing is that a GP is not in a position to diagnose dementia - the GP's role in this type of situation is to make a referral to the memory clinic where a thorough evaluation can take place. So the goal of any GP appointment is to get the GP to make that referral.

You might want to read these factsheets from the Alzheimer's Society to give you some more info:

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/426

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/440

Take care,

[Andrea2000]

Thank you both for your replies, I guess I need to persevere with his doctor. I am going on holiday with my parents in a week so will be able to monitor my dad more closely and be able to give specific examples to the doctor, as I am not with my parents everyday.

Thank you!

[JackMac]

As Sandy said, he needs to get the GP to refer him. The GP should be able to do a memory test himself which only takes a short time.
Can you go along to the appointment with your dad? It does sound like there is a problem and the sooner he gets treated the better.

I went to my mum's appointment and was able to let the GP know about problems. I told my mum before the appointment what I would say to him so she didn't feel silly when I said it to the GP. It all went quite well and he referred her to a specialist and for an MRI.

hope you can get it sorted.