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  1. #1
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    Demons Nightmares and the rest.........

    Took Mum to the hospital today for her 6 monthly consultation ...She was in a grumpy mood.. It was a hot day and she hates hot weather. I was having a battle with myself all the way, I knew what i wanted to say to the doctors, health professionals, etc, I looked at my lovely mum .. she has given me so much.. loved me .. protected me .. never let me down...i started to cry for all the necessary things i knew i had to say. She had forgiven me when we came out, Quite simply beacause she had forgotton...I feel a traitor to her.. didnt want this stage to come.. or the next and next... Millie
     

  2. #2
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    Hi.
    I remember those times so well.

    It's hard enough that we have to tell, but having to do it in front of our loved ones is awful.

    Love and ((((hugs))))
    Lin

    Daughter and former carer

    If only I could have Hindsight beforehand, oh what a difference it would make .

    Odd words,mis-spelling and punctuation are most likely due to my clever phone, it seems to have its own ideas about what I am trying to say, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it lol
     

  3. #3
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    Apr 2010
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    101
    I feel so sad for you, I know exactly what you mean.

    Take care
    Paula x
     

  4. #4
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    Dear Millie, that's so sad and distressing that you have to talk about 'things' in front of your mum. You're definitely not a traiter you are just trying to make things better. The hospital clinic where I used to take my mum had a little kitchen with table and chairs next to the consulting room with staff present so that when I wanted to talk I used to take mum there for a cuppa whilst I went back and told the consultant what I needed to. I don't know what I'd have done without that facility. Its a great shame that this set up is not widely available. This does'nt help you, I know, but I can understand how upsetting it is for you and why you might feel guilty. For next time, is there anywhere you could take her where she could sit for a few minutes where a member of staff would keep an eye on her whilst you said what you needed to? xxx Chris
    Last edited by CaPattinson; 22-06-2010 at 08:26 PM.
     

  5. #5
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    May 2007
    Location
    Yorkshire
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    44
    Oh Millie .... you are not alone. I remember having to do that with my father on a number of occasions and feeling so guilty.
     

  6. #6
    I used to write a letter to the consultant a week or two before the appointment so I never had to discuss my husband in his presence.

    Sylvia

    Former Carer and Volunteer Moderator .

    I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet

    About me
     

  7. #7
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    Jun 2010
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    North Yorkshire
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    Thanks so much Lin, Im having a large glass of wine tonight.. hope it helps me have a good nights sleep.. i just want to put my arms round my mum. (she is in shelterd housing so not here with me tonight). I feel so sad i cant... Hope all going well with you..I only joined yestrday... Millie X
     

  8. #8
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    Hi Millie

    Your post is so sad,i feel for you,i've been through the same with my mum.

    All i ever want to do is cuddle my mum and make her better.

    Thinking of you.xxx
    Don't judge my path,if you haven't walked my journey.
     

  9. #9
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    Demons Nightmares and the rest.....

    Thankyou all, My newfound virtual friends for your replies..advice and kindness, Millie x
     

  10. #10
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    Sep 2009
    Location
    up north
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    143

    I understand

    Hi Millie, its a sad situation that you are in. I have been there with my mum at the hospital when the consultant was giving a diognosis of front lobal dementia. We have to be honest with the profesionals. Try not to feel bad you are doing the best that you can for your lovely mum. Kind Regards Janice
     

  11. #11
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    North Yorkshire
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    Demons Nightmares and the rest.....

    Thankyou Janice, Ive found talking to you all a great help, I just feel Ive let my Mum down today .. i cant stop crying tonight.. My Mum has always been my Sunflower on a rainy day. Millie x
     

  12. #12
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    Dear Millie
    You havent let you mum down, quite the opposite
    in fact!!!

    Hope you enjoyed your wine
    Lin

    Daughter and former carer

    If only I could have Hindsight beforehand, oh what a difference it would make .

    Odd words,mis-spelling and punctuation are most likely due to my clever phone, it seems to have its own ideas about what I am trying to say, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it lol
     

  13. #13
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    North Derbyshire
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    But no, Millie is so lucky that she has such good memories of her mum. It is lovely. Treasure them forever. I had no such memories of my mum, she was just my mum, fed me, clothed me, nothing more. Do please rejoice in the fact that your mum was so precious to you.

    Mine was not. It made the chore a chore.

    Margaret
     

  14. #14
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    Jun 2010
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    North Yorkshire
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    Grannie G If i could be assured the consultant would read a hand written letter from myself regarding my Mum, before my Mums appointment, I would be delighted.
     

  15. #15
    I didn`t know whether or not mine would Millie but I wrote it and he read it.
    You can only try.

    Sylvia

    Former Carer and Volunteer Moderator .

    I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet

    About me
     

 

 

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