Wheel chairs and dementia

[KenC]

Over the last few days I have had Janice out in her borrowed wheel chair, so that she can get some very Fresh North East air into lungs.

But I have realised that when I am behind one of these things, I am not at my best.

I feel as if everyone is stepping in front of me or they walk out of shops without looking. The problem being that with this lewy bodies dementia, I find that I am trying to plan my route well away from everyone else and more or less in a straight line, but it never works.

All I hear is the muffled voice saying, "calm down dear we are obviously invisable", by then the old horns are up and I start to steam with frustration.

Today we went to a shopping mall, and found that people find the worst possible places to stop and talk, and they will not move out of the way to let anyone past.

This has all brought a different meaning to life over that last few weeks, as I have realised that my judgement is not what it used to be, so I am having to try and think fast, while negotiating all the cluttered isles in the shops, without causing any harm to my dear wife and without knocking some of the racks over.

Still its doing my weight the world of good as I have lost around 8 lbs in just over two weeks, and I have got muscles that I had forgotten all about.

Sadly the boss is putting on weight being stuck in a chair all day, so I feel sorry for her.

Life goes on.


Ken

[connie]

Dear Ken, sorry to read about how your dementia is affecting your abilities with the wheelchair.

Thank goodness you can still reason things out, and I am sure that Janice keeps you well under control. It certainly illustrates though how thoughtless some people can be.

Some 7 years ago I had a foot operation. The stress that it put Lionel under had to be seen to be believed. As to him pushing me in the wheelchair - only once - and he brought the local traffic to a standstill battering me and the chair against a kerb, as he could not find a ramp. I bear the scars to this day.

I so admire you for your dogged persevernce. Love n'hugs to you both.

[Winnie Kjaer]

Hello Ken, I can assure you it is not only you that is struggling. I am not suffering from AD but I find pushing the chair around shops a nightmare. People are bad enough and as you say seldom move to give way, but the way they pack the shops together, does not leave room for a wheelchair or a pushchair for that matter. I took my husband to a large clothes store in December bad move and for him it was exhausting having all the clothes dangling in his face constantly. We have a new shopping precinct and all the shops except one i.e. d.......s could never have planned for these chairs. I used to write and point this out to them, and have had some nice replies, but now I mostly just avoid going. I expect you are doing as well as most of us can under the circumstances.

[larivy]

Ken it is definitely not just you people take no notice when you have a wheelchair in fact they seem to go out their way to get in your way also the arguments I've had in shops where they block the aisles with goods i must admit im a bit of a demon i just knock them over and when the assistants tut i tell them where to go and knock more down so go for it ken love Larivy

[TinaT]

Silly me went supermarket shopping with my Ken one Saturday. Never again!! Of course all the disabled parking spaces were full so I parked in a mother and child bay, put the disabled badge on the windscreen, got the wheelchair out etc., etc., and off we went.

On our return a young mother verbally attacked me for using a mother and baby space. She hotly pointed out that I should not have parked there as she cannot park in a disabled space. I told her to go and speak with the management and see what they would say! I added that she might be pushing a small lightweight child's chair for some two or three years at the most and would she like to change places and push a grown man who would be using the wheelchair for the rest of his life?

She still wasn't having any of it, so I got us both in the car and drove away. I was so upset that she couldn't have had the humanity to see our difficulties. There were no mother and child bays when I was pushing a double buggy with two babies in it and I managed perfectly well as I was much younger and fitter then

xxTinaT

[KenC]

Hi Tina

My problem is that I concentrate so much on what I am trying to do, and it anyone speaks or changes my route, I loose the whole lot, and have to start again thinking about where I want to go or do.

But I agree with you when you say that people do not understand the problems others face, and I do think many live in their own little world, and no one or nothing else matters as long as they can do what they want.

I get tired of watching healthy young people parking in the disabled bays these days, but I do think that people are turning lazy, and will not walk an inch from their car if it can be avoided.

Still we have to get on the best we can with or without their support and care.

Ken

[Tender Face]

Oh Ken, you have made me smile at how you approach everything with such good humour.

Reminded me of times I ‘wheeled’ mum – anyone who got in HER way was just at the right height for her to whip a quick ‘smack’ across their behind!!!! That took some explaining and apologising, but can laugh at it now! Never knew my talents at wheeling a damned thing AND trying to keep mum’s arms tucked in all at the same time!

Every wheel chair I ever borrowed was just like those supermarket trolleys – swear the one with the dodgy wheel saw me coming! You are remarkably brave to even tackle them! Well done. Hope Janice is well ‘on the mend’.

Love, Karen, x

[Norrms]

Reminds me of what i wrote a while back !!LOL


Through the eyes of a
Disabled Man

As I sat on my disabled scooter for the first time I suddenly realised how small I was compared to everyone else! Even my darling wife, only 5 feet herself, (which was one of the reasons I fell in love with her) seemed to tower over me! This wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought!
Setting of at a lightning speed of 5mph off I went with my wife and her little legs trying to keep up with me. After about 200 yards and much discussion between me and my wife about the speed (that`s the polite version anyway!) I eventually got the speed right so she could walk beside me, which I must admit I much preferred. So off we went on our first outing as a disabled couple!
Then the paranoia set in, why was everybody looking at me? Had I forgot to put my pants on or something? My wife said I was imagining it but I’m sure I wasn`t! And when the young lady came past with two children in the pram pointing at me I could have died!! Please ground swallow me up I thought, I didn’t reckon on any of this when I set out this morning!! Then came the time to cross the road, now this, I wasn’t looking forward to!

Avenue road where I live is the main route and road into my seaside town so you can imagine how busy it is! I have never been so happy to see a pelican crossing in my life! After much stretching I eventually pressed the button and my wife and I stood and waited, and waited, and waited. Eventually after what seemed a lifetime they went on red. Not that that matters to the good people of Torquay who are all colour blind I’m sure!
It was time to cross, and half way over I felt like Royalty as a waved and mouthed thank you to one and all! The time had come for a relaxing cup of coffee and a bite to eat. Easier said than done! Outside our normal cafe we go to is a bell and a sign that says “In case of help needed, please ring the bell and you will be assisted into the cafe. Picture this, here I am, 19 stone at the last count, (due to lack of exercise, my excuse and sticking to it) sat on a scooter that probably shouldn’t be taking all that weight, blocking the doorway to the cafe and about to ring the bell just to let someone know I was there, and no doubt the rest of the cafe !!! How bad could it get??
Well, I always believed that “Favour followed the brave” so the bell was rang and I sat there shrinking into my seat. My wife could hardly stand for laughing at me, but the best was yet to come.


As the door opened a young girl about fourteen popped her head round and said “Hello, how can I help? I replied, oh hello, I’m disabled and will need a lift into the cafe please. Well, there she stood, all four foot eleven of her and 7 stone wet through, mouth wide open and eyes even wider!! To save all our embarrassment, and my wife from completely wetting herself with laughter I said sorry I had got the wrong address and drove off at about 10mph!!
Arriving home a little bedraggled and very thirsty I tried to discuss the day`s events with my darling wife but still couldn`t get any sense out of her. You know what you ladies are like when you start the giggles! Anyway, tomorrows another day and I will try again, maybe you would like to hear about it??

[Winnie Kjaer]

Hi Norrms how I sympathise. Exactly that happened to my husband and me at the Cafe in Beer which has a large step. My husbands wheelchair has a motor on the back which I cannot get up over large steps, so need help. Fortunately a very kind man offered to help after another 50 had passed first.
Hard work wheelchairs sometimes.

[Norrms]

Yes they are sometimes my friend but hopefully things are getting a little better xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[KenC]

These wheel chairs are hard work, but then I realise, that one day the roles may well reverse and it could be me in the wheel chair, and not my dear wife.

I think we would be lost without them, as they allow us to take a loved one out, when they would normally be stuck inside.

Ken