Utter despair and desolation

[Norrms]

Hello all, mid afternoon yesterday i felt as though someone had come behind me and covered me in a lead overcoat. When i was diagnosed with heart failure i knew i was starting to get depressed and sought help, but since being diagnosed with Alzheimers 15 months ago i have noticed lately it has become much worse, though sometimes not that evident through my posts.
The feeling of utter despair, emptyness and desolation is sometimes so much its like having a complete blackness thrown over your eyes and weights placed around your shoulders. I have been prescribed some very good anti depressants a short while ago and wouldnt like to take any more so not to become (Slowed up any more than i already am is the polite wordage i think)
I often wonder if others who also have this horrid disease at my stage or indeed the later stages also suffer from this disabiltating depression but isnt recognised as such because we have Alzheimers?
There are days when i will go for hours without speaking of become so down all i want to do is sleep when this depression hits and i wondered if anybody else is in this position, especially in the later stages but unable to tell anybody how they feel?

Alzheimers and dementia is such a complicated disease with many factions added in and i thought it just might be worth a mention, hope this helps in some way.
Still feeling very low but a little better than yesteday, best wishes to all, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[hazytron]

Hi Norms
I wish you and Mum could have a good chat together, she suffers terribly from depression, and from the way you have described your symptoms, she sounds the very same
Maybe it could be arranged???????? I think she would benefit from talking with you, hopefully you too.
Regards Hazel

[Norrms]

Hiya Hazel, sorry to hear your mum sounds like she has something similar and thats exactly the point i was trying to make, i wonder how many others are in this position without knowing it?
Maybe sometime soon we could chat but as you can understand i have to be in a more positive frame of mind before i could consider that,I certainly dont want to make anybody any worse, but its a wonderful thought and one that may happen in the future? best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Lynne]

Dear Norrms, I'm sorry you are feeling so down today, must be something in the air as I'm a bit low myself, even though my life should be getting back on track by now.
.

[Michele]

Hi Norrms.

I just wanted to say that I think you are an amazing man. You are always there for everyone, and I think it is wonderful that you share your experiences with us, it helps a lot.

Sending you a really really big big ((((((((((HUG))))))))))

Love
Michele
xx

[Grannie G]

I`m also sorry you are so low Norms.
Dhiren took antidepressants until this month when the consultant took him off them. I think they helped. I wouldn`t like to think how he ould have been without them.

[beech mount]

Now Norrms this is not like you,dont get depresed over possible heart failure there are many people walking around not knowing they have it, i can understand the depresion over the AZ my wife also is depresed a lot of the time.
Could it be withdrawel symptoms from Meat and potato pies and black puddings? or,you havent been smokeing those funny cigs have you?
Come on norms !!!
John.

[Norrms]

Hiya john, i have absolutley no idea what you mean by fuuny Cigs???LOL your just trying to get me i trouble again arnt you ?? LOL Havent smoked in seight years,i was a fifty a day man but best thing (apart from meeting my angel) i ever did was quit, most recommeneded !!
Will get my fix of meat pies and meat and potato pies when i arrive back there in a coule of weeks, (but not too many Sylvia, promise !!LOL

Best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxx

[Winnie Kjaer]

Hi Norrms,
You said it yourself, but nobody would ever believe that you are feeling depressed reading your posts here on TP. You are extremely good at hiding it. We do of course all have a front we put on some times. Good of you to share though, because it does so help other people to learn more and more about this terrible desease. I hope the heavy feeling will soon lift completely and that you do not have too many days like yesterday. You will no doubt mention this to your doctor or consultant next time you see him, he may know whether this a normal part of your stage or whether you are experiencing something more unique to you. He may also be able to suggest something that will help but not make you more drowsy.
I wondered whether the post mortem may be playing on your mind more than you realise. Whatever it is I am sure the old Norrms will soon resurface. Take care

[gigi]

Hello Norrms,

I'm sorry you've been feeling so low, but would like to thankyou for sharing your experience of how it is when the depression hits you.

It helps us to understand how it must be for those we care for.

Hope the bad feelings are starting to fade and you feel brighter soon...

Love xx

[carrie99]

I am lucky in that my anti depressants do work - one in the morning and one at night. I'm sure I'll need more at some point before I go onto the 'proper' pills. But I'm in no rush, I'd rather wait until I really need them.

Are you on Aricept or equivalent yet? I'm told I have to get down to a score of 20 whatever that means before I get Aricept. I think that is when the community nurse does the 6 months tests but they are short staffed so I may have to wait longer.

Carrie

[BeverleyY]

I'd like to genuinely thank you for sharing with us your experiences from the other side of the fence.

I find it so hard to understand how Dad is feeling. There are periods when he just sits, silently staring at the floor. I have no idea what goes on in his mind.

Sometimes, he said he is depressed, but I have not known if this is a genuine statement, or part of him blaming something else for his state of confusion etc.

I think, probably, it was a real rather than something invented to explain away everything else.

He is on antidepressants now, and I hope they pick him up in his spirits.

Thank you again for sharing your experiences with us all.

Kind regards.

Beverley