Learning to cope...

[susiesue]

Sylvia - you haven't overstepped the mark at all - problem is that if I could understand what he was saying then I could agree with him!!

Gigi - yes David was always extremely stubborn - which in business was great - however with this illness I am not finding it so great! As for the other compliments() I paid him, I really don't think he was as awkward as he is these days - probably he is just as frustrated as I am with the situation.

Connie - I understand exactly what you mean- I feel that by letting David just sit and watch TV all day I am giving in - he always so hated daytime TV!

Pam - when you find out where to get some oars pls let me know

Love

[Scottie45]

Just wanted to say you are all doing a great job with your loved ones,my mum is still at home but she is so far good never gives me any bother maybe things will be different when she comes to live with me at some stage.Anyway thinking about you all and i hope your day has not been to bad sending you all a big hug take care Marian x

[Margarita]

I also bought that book - Selfish Pigs Guide to Caring - if nothing else it did make me feel as though I was not alone feeling the way I do.

if nothing else it did make me feel as though I was not alone feeling the way I do.[/

Like me also, how it help me is to recognize my own limits .

I find the hardest part with David is the fact that he always argues with everything I say or suggest - he has to be the most stubborn, difficult, argumentative, awkward person I know - even though when he argues none of it makes sense

he has to be the most stubborn, difficult, argumentative, awkward person I know

Ask yourself was David , like this before the Demetria ?

Could you suggest thinks to David before Demetria, he would see the logic in it ?

It took me a very long time to recognize like every one saying, don't argue back, walk out .

I could never Just walk out as Mum would pick up on it; take it the wrong way it just makes things worse.

I would have something along the lines of . Hold on I just have to do something if I walk out on a disagreement we were having.

As I could of cried in the frustration anger , sadness of it all . I would have all those emotion all in one go .

Psychologically I felt I was was going back in time, when I use to argue with my mother , in those movement when mum would not see the my logical side of the disagreement I was having with her, books did help me , but reading other people post on TP help an awfuller lot more .

I have alway been a good listener, somewhere in those muddle up thoughts of mum was a lot of logic going on to her.
But I could not get mum to see my point of view, because a symptom of Demetria is delusion

But I must admit that only happen when I work on my own emotion of frustration anger , sadness of it all.

[Helen33]

I'm just catching up - I always seem to be catching up these days!! I could feel the relief through the global highway I'm really glad that you are holding the reins and that you have managed to reclaim your life somewhat. Being a carer to someone with a dementia seems to require us to be permanently readjusting in order to be able to cope.

Enjoy it Gigi

Love

[gigi]

Hi Helen....

I always seem to be catching up these days!!

..Could it be that you're spending far too much time trawling the High Street for upmarket household goodies...

I have to agree it's a continuous state of flux...

Connie mentions that Lionel was easier to manage when she stopped trying to stimulate him. In our case I think I'd gone too far the other way...and was treating Eric like I would have treated a patient when I was on duty..picking up the pieces and filling in the gaps...trying to protect him. But my period of duty was 24/7....and crept up on me.

Norman..your wisdom is so much appreciated..thankyou for your reply..

I made mistakes, we will all make mistakes,but we are all frail human creatures.
Be nice to each other,if today is a bad day tomorrow will be better

...I'm going to hang onto those words...

susiesue..

I feel that by letting David just sit and watch TV all day I am giving in - he always so hated daytime TV!

...ditto... And this is what Eric has come to...searching the TV mag to find out what's on..but not knowing what he's watching when he's watching it any more. Actually he uses the TV mag to remind him what day it is now.

Maggie...I'm learning to walk away...and Marian...your mum may well remain the way she is..I do hope so. Thankyou for your kind thoughts and good wishes...

Love xx