Just to update you quickly on my mum and to try and get some desperately needed advice.
Mum is currently in the geriatric ward of her local hospital (after being brought in last Fri). They have assured me that she will not be released home and a decision about her discharge date won't be made until she has been assessed. (She was taken to hospital after being found on the floor of her flat last Friday. The police had to break the door down as she wasn't answering. She had not let the carer in the day before and we think that she had not eaten for 2 days, hence why whe collapsed...that along with confusion heightened by a UTI).
My feeling is that mum needs to go into 24 hour care since things weren't working with the private carer who visited each day (mainly because mum didn't always let her in and just wouldn't accept the level of care and help that she needed). Mum is aggressive at times, non compliant with leg dressings for her ulcer (though fine about it now she is in hospital), she has leg oedema (but can walk with a stick), double incontinence (and is not always aware of when to change her pads) and she has been suffering with feinting and subsequent falls and is still fairly weak.
She is being treated in hospital for a UTI and having her ulcers bandaged each day but my question is whether I should be looking for a nursing home or a residential home once she comes out? No disrespect, but I don't want to put her amongst people who are at a much more advanced stage or dementia as this will crush her mentally I think, but then again, if she is going to get worse, is it better to have her be in a place where there is that facility?
What is the difference in a residential and a nursing home in terms of a person's care needs? My mum needs lots of help with getting washed, dressed, and although she can feed herself, she does not seem able to go and make the food herself. My mum has brightened up a lot in hospital and was even able to say which floor she was on which amazed me, so I am just not sure what I should be looking for.
My mum's social worker seems to think that she needs residential care but I am not sure that they will give her the level of care that she needs as I am not sure that it means. I have to wait for the outcome of the assessment at the hospital but I just wanted to be clear of the difference and as we are self funding, the decision ultimately rests with me.
It is an extremely nerve-wracking time for me as I have a very important decision to make which will affect the rest of my mum's life so i don't want to get it wrong!
Hope you can help!