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  1. #1

    What to do after death....

    Hi All,

    I'm starting a thread here to help with the practical issues of dealing with a loss/death. I was completely losts when mum died, not just emotionally but practically.

    I'm going to start off by adding a few useful documents and books that I have used to get through all the practical issues. I'm not going to go into too much detail, just point to some really useful resources. I'll add to this over the next couple of days.

    It has also been my first probate to deal with and I have learnt a lot a long the way. Please add any useful resources that you know of, and as time goes on I will try to summarise it all in another closed thread and perhaps make it a sticky.

    Kind Regards
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  2. #2

    DWP - Department for Work and Pensions - What to do after a death in England & Wales

    What to do after a death in England & Wales
    Ref: D49 April 2006

    This is a book/leaflet you can get from any CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau). It has loads of useful information including details on the things you must do.

    For example - in the first five days you must:
    • Notify the family doctor
    • Register the death at the register office
    • Contact a funer director
    • Advise the DWP
    • Complete form BD8 - this stops any benefits

    Here is a link to a PDF version for the computer savey.

    Moderator note: this page link is now broken. A chase-through leads to

    Hope this helps

    It is very useful and has a lot of information on benefit that the bereaved may claim.
    Last edited by Brucie; 21-08-2009 at 06:47 AM. Reason: update a link
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  3. #3

    Death and Probate - A Self Help Guide ot managing the procedures yourself

    Death and Probate - A Self Help Guide ot managing the procedures yourself by Gordon Bowley.


    Most libraries will have a copy. I had about four books out on the subject, but the above is the clearest and easiest to follow in my opinion. It gives simple details on arranging the funeral right through to a list of specimen forms and letters to deal with probate yourself.

    I'm defintely not saying everyone should do it themselves, but solicitors are expensive and can slow down the process. It depends how complicated the estate / property is, but I was surprised how little the solicitor was actually offering to do anyway. Just my opinion without prejudice (for any solicitors after my blood).

    Hope this helps
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  4. #4
    What to do after a death in Scotland:

    Updated link 23rd Dec 2011
    http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Publicati.../02/26152921/0 and

    Also available free from Alzheimer Scotland branches, PRT, care homes, etc.

    Good idea, Craig.
    Last edited by CraigC; 23-12-2011 at 02:08 PM. Reason: Craig updated the link as broken link reported by user


    Don't grieve for what you have lost, rejoice for what you have had.

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2006
    The website


    provides useful and understandable information on a range of subjects, from documentation and paperwork, registering a death to burials vs cremation, memorials, arranging a funeral, different types of funerals and approximate costs, etc.

    Regards, Tina

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2007

    Gives information about funeral directors.

    As we are often aware that this will occur, if you do not find it too morbid (I did!), it is worthwhile chatting to people in your area about undertakers/their costs/whether plans are in place for the loved one.

    What I did find helped me tremendously , after Mum's death was writing her life story for the eulogy. The minister knew Mum but this helped him greatly. It helped me to remember Mum before dementia and I think helped bring her back as "My Mum" rather than the person she had become.


  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Check if there any insurance policiy's.

    Also ring the pension company if the person that has passed away has a private pension.

    Make sure that you get a few copies of the death certificate and (marraige and birth certificates of both you and your spouse if applicable) as you need copies to send to different companies.

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    Blog Entries
    We were advised to purchase pre-paid funeral plans.
    It made life much easier,one telephone call,a visit to our nominated undertaker and all was settled.
    There was also a geat saving on cost,the original charges much less than todays.

    Day by Day
    Always a carer
    2007 my Peg said to me "I don't care as long as I have you "

  9. #9

    Craig, this is great!

    I would like to point out that most of you are carers and a good way to make things easier is to keep a running inventory list of all : insurance policies, checking, savings and any type of account which has funds in it. Also keep on that list any type of pensions or residuals that they may be recieving and a list of all real estate. In the US this was very helpful when the funeral home asked me how many death certificates I would need. At the time of death they are much cheaper than going back later and getting more. I also caution and advise that you get a few spares as sometimes things show up later that need a real copy.

    I too am learning from this probate. My lawyer is wonderful and when I talked to im he said it would be a cake walk, after discussing moms' estate tho we both laughed and agreed that it might become a wedding cake...but still would be a cake walk.



  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by CraigC View Post
    Hi All,
    perhaps make it a sticky.

    Kind Regards

    Good thread Craig, thanks. 'Sticky' is a good idea too. Iam in ostrich mode and need to get my head out of sand.

  11. #11
    If your on a low income you can get
    with financial costs .


    If your husband, wife or civil partner has died you may be able to get Bereavement Payment, a one-off, lump-sum payment of 2,000 that's tax-free
    I never new about this when my father died .
    "You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option."
    Author: Unknown

    Each person experiences dementia in their own individual way.

  12. #12
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    NW England
    Blog Entries

    Some pedantics .....

    ... well sorry but that's how I see them - and yes, it involves our good old banks again ...

    I had never realised that the law meant that on notification of a death bank accounts are COMPLETELY frozen..... (didn't happen when dad died as they were all joint accounts with mum). This means frozen for any 'credits' due in too ....... so having notified DWP etc and private pension companies .... they cannot pay any benefits still due to mum 'in arrears' directly to her accounts which are 'frozen' but cannot be closed until probate is granted .... nor can 'refunds' due (in particular a huge chunk of NH fees) be accepted into the account unless cheques are specifically made out to 'The Late ....... Ms XXXXXX' .... and processed through the 'Estates department' .... (I thought cheques were archaic now anyway - so quite what happens about automated credits being attempted I am still wondering .....?)

    Then there is the issue of an empty property .. it still needs to be 'maintained' ...... especially the buildings insurance and certain utilities ...... but even that cannot be paid out of the residue of mum's accounts ..... with one (hopefully minor) complication around probate and the housing market as it is .... who knows when 'funds' will be released to the beneficiaries of her will? In the meantime, someone (me as next of kin in this case it seems although I am not executor of the will) has to find the money to keep up essential maintenance of her estate until such time it is 'realised' and dispersed ....

    Had I known this in advance I would have made some provision to meet ongoing expenses during this time my solicitor describes as being 'in limbo' - somehow responsible for managing liabilities but with no access to any assets....... no role as EPA as that ceased as soon as my mother passed, and without Letters of Administration and probate granted simply in 'no man's land' ........ and the importance of an appropriate named 'executor' in a will more paramount than I could believe .... I have no 'legal standing' at the moment - just feel I have inherited a financial headache on top of the bereavement ......

    Just thought it might be worth sharing in case someone else can learn from my lack of knowledge and foresight ......

    Karen, x

  13. #13
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    county durham

    similar position

    Hi Karen
    My sister and I have found ourselves in a similar situation. My mam died in July and we haven't got the probate granted yet although it should be through soon. It has been delayed due to the fact that the solicitor seems to have lost the original copy of her will therefore we only had the copy which we found in her house. We have now sold her house but have taken a much lower offer than it is on the market for because the way the housing market is at the moment we were worried about the cost of maintaining it through the winter and who knows how long after that.

    It is frustrating when you have to find money for maintaining the property and other bills when you cannot get access to any funds. Also as you say hard to deal with on top of everything else

    barbara h

  14. #14
    Hi Karen,

    just feel I have inherited a financial headache on top of the bereavement ......
    I think you have highlighted an important issue Karen. Like you I had no idea what was coming and mums bank account was frozen. I wrote to all debtors immediately and they have had to wait until probate was issued. The things I had to pay for on credit was part of the funeral and dad's care home fees for a few months - I had no access to their shared accounts once mum died. And that is another important point, if you go to see the bank who froze the account they are very likely to release a cheque to pay for the actual funeral (once you present the bill).

    Going to the bank in person makes a lot of difference in my opinion.

    I really would recommend the following book:

    Death and Probate - A Self Help Guide ot managing the procedures yourself by Gordon Bowley.

    Our library had a copy and it has standard letters to send to debtors and creditors. Along with loads of good advice. The book made my life a lot easier.

    Seven months on and I am still dealing with probate, and my advice is to keep a file on it all as it goes on for so long. Whether a solicitor is involved or not, you need to try and keep on top of it all.

    Sorry for the grief you are having, you don't need it on top of everthing else.

    Take care
    EVERYTHING you post can be viewed by people with dementia. Please be respectful at all times.

  15. #15
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2005

    probate with no will!

    Dear all
    Can anyone tell me what really happens if someone dies and there is no will? I have been told so many things by different people and can't understand the official blurb! My mother died in July- I spent the previous 9 years looking after her and have no regrets - would very happily still be doing it and wish I was, as I'm sure you all feel about the people you all looked after. Having said that, my 3 sisters were no help at all, wouldn't even make phone calls to social workers etc for me. Unfortunately, Mummy did not make a will so presumably everything will be shared between the four of us. A friend did say that I could get a solicitor to write to the probate chap and put in a 'bill' for the hours I looked after Mummy and I would get a higher proportion that way - is that true? It's not that I'm really worried re the sharing, it's just that my mother's house is my home, my sisters all have their families and their own homes, and I don't!
    Another friend has also said that we should hide my mother's jewellery etc because if probate man sees it he will force us to sell it so the value can be shared - is that true?
    Hoping someone can explain things to me.




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