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    We had many problems with my mum's bowels causing...

    We had many problems with my mum's bowels causing her a great deal of pain and distress over several years. Movicol didn't really help and she didn't get any pain relief from paracetamol alone so she...
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    I was asked to pay it for my mum but refused...

    I was asked to pay it for my mum but refused because she had been moved to the cheapest nursing home from the next cheapest one which had safeguarding issues. When I complained about being asked to...
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    say how much things have changed since he's been...

    say how much things have changed since he's been on tegretol and ask to try a different anti-convulsant.

    My mum had vascular dementia and when she started having seizures and she was given...
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    Well done for getting justice. It must have taken...

    Well done for getting justice. It must have taken a lot out of you to pursue this. I don't suppose you will see any of the money but it's important that he didn't get away with it.
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    Sorry to read that your father has passed away....

    Sorry to read that your father has passed away. My condolences to you. I know when mum died I felt a bit guilty that I was relieved it sorted out the deeds problem so I hope you don't end up feeling...
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    That's exactly why my mum wanted the wills drawn...

    That's exactly why my mum wanted the wills drawn up the way they were - so that dad didn't in her words "go off with some floozy who would take all my money" as she'd seen it happen before in the...
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    I think you'll need to seek legal advice on this....

    I think you'll need to seek legal advice on this.

    I'm sure you can prove that half the house was left to you from your mum - often the land register hasn't been updated to reflect the ownership...
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    Get the doc to try something else. My mum did...

    Get the doc to try something else.

    My mum did well on citalopram (she had dementia) but I had found it awful for me personally! It gave me panic attacks when I'd never had them before (or since)
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    what a thoughtful dad you have. :D

    what a thoughtful dad you have. :D
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    I hope you start to feel better soon. I had...

    I hope you start to feel better soon.

    I had unusual reactions too, including UTIs and a couple of months of very dry eyes - it made it impossible to wear my contact lenses which I'd never had...
  11. There are several alternatives - hopefully they...

    There are several alternatives - hopefully they will quickly find one that suits her. These medications affect some a lot but not other people at all.
  12. (sorry Fr0d0 for taking over your thread for a...

    (sorry Fr0d0 for taking over your thread for a page)
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    I was also going to add a bit more about...

    I was also going to add a bit more about dehydration. It is so easy for an elderly person to get dehydrated without us realising that is the case.

    Please ask the home to give more fluids and keep...
  14. They are executors with powers reserved. So I...

    They are executors with powers reserved. So I think they'd be liable, especially if they sign a document agreeing that.
  15. I thought I'd do that but the beneficiaries/other...

    I thought I'd do that but the beneficiaries/other executors have told me they want the money rather than me putting it aside. I'll draw up a letter saying they should put x amount of money aside in...
  16. Yes I'm using me as shorthand - I know it's from...

    Yes I'm using me as shorthand - I know it's from their estate.
  17. I would take your point if I was avoiding...

    I would take your point if I was avoiding contributions. But they were never agreed. As soon as they took over payment when mum went below the threshold I never heard from them again. So I never got...
  18. That's really helpful, thank you! There's a...

    That's really helpful, thank you!

    There's a risk that doing the notice will bring things to their attention as they obviously have to check the gazette and the local newspaper for these notices....
  19. No I haven't and I haven't finished doing probate...

    No I haven't and I haven't finished doing probate officially yet. I didn't think I needed to advertise (it's not compulsory) because I know who my debtors and creditors are. Have they got 6 months...
  20. This scares me as it means that I could in theory...

    This scares me as it means that I could in theory be issued with a bill even though it's been over a year since mum died - no contribution was decided because I said we'd go for a deferred payment....
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    I can get to your site creativesarah, but when I...

    I can get to your site creativesarah, but when I click on 'more...' nothing happens. I can see for a moment that there are a lot more sections but I can only see 4 across the top bar.
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    Avoiding probate

    I'm sorry to say that I have actively avoided doing financial dealings for as long as I possibly could. I have found the whole business of dealing with financial institutions, care homes, solicitors...
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    I did a 'book' for mum from when she was born. ...

    I did a 'book' for mum from when she was born.

    It had mainly photos in but some text about her, her mum and dad, her siblings, where she went to school, how she met my dad, their marriage, their...
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    It can't be the worst. For the simple reason that...

    It can't be the worst. For the simple reason that you cannot do nothing.

    Therefore you have to try something and the probability that it would improve things far outweighs any negatives of doing...
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    In six months time you'll know it was all...

    In six months time you'll know it was all positive change to make things better. Try to think of that when the panic builds.
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