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Hi SueShell
Your story is my story and also alot of others on here too. My relationship with my mother was never good. I have no memories of hugs, kind words or any encouragement growing up. I...

Hi and welcome to TP.
Without wishing to be very blunt this is a clear case of abuse. Your dad is a vulnerable adult and he needs help asap. Contact your local social services and ask to speak to...

I had a similiar problem with mum when she was still living in the family home. She was so trusting and desperate for company that she would invite the world and his uncle round for tea. This led to...

Hi Steve. My mum has dementia and is also quite bad on her feet. I did have to do battle with the social worker but in the end I did get a wheelchair for mum. Interestingly I played the 'rights'...

You very well may be right. John was heaving as he was cleaning last night and said he really didn't think he could do this. I was the same last week. I was green and thought I was going to throw up....

Mum has had uriniary incontinence issues for many a long year. She has struggled with medicine induced constipation for a long time too. She is given various potions to try to cure this but its just...

I don't know about the rest of the UK but here in Northern Ireland the carers would not handle money for fear of being accused of theft. When I was out of action for a number of weeks last year post...

Hi Nick

I think money fiaxation is a very common element of dementia. My own mother went through a phase of telling anyone who'd listen that I was robbing her blind and spending all her money on...

I often look back at my early posts and I don't recognise the rambling wreck I was. Someone commented that often when people come on TP for the first time they are at the end of their tether and that...

Hi 1954
I work in the NHS and I am very surprised that your employer will not change your shifts to allow you to care for your MIL. The law states that employees have the right to request flexible...

Mum's social worker told me that if there are previous well evidenced precedents in place where someone is known to have been generous with gifts then its a easier call. Mum will offer to buy me...

I'm not sure if its a different set up in England but here in Northern Ireland we have EMI (elderly mentally infirm) units. They are normally split into 2 sections. Those with dementia who don't need...

My mum flits between a care home and her own home. Its the same care home she goes in and out of and I chose it because it seems to have the same atttiude you describe. The staff work around the...

Good idea re the cleaner for cats pee. I will have at look in the pet store at the weekend as cheaper than paying to get the carpet cleaned. The bed which is only a few months old is ruined. Does...

Yes, Mum gets small pads for urinary incontinence. Her faecal accidents are not true incontinence issues. She has poor mobility due to arthritis. The meds for this make her constipated and its the...

Karjo: Mum is at the stage at the minute where I think she knows that things can't continue as they are. Some days she will admit she is struggling which is amazing progress given where we were at...

I went round last night to give Mum's flat its weekly clean. She refuses to let the Care Assistants clean it. She's told then she'd rather do it herself as it gives her something to do!!! HMM!!...

My mum takes alot of pain meds and a side effect is constipation. I used to work as a PA to a colorectal surgeon and I can recall that if the abdomen was distended and there was no bowel motion at...

I don't have any formal arrangment in place but the only bank account is joint names (mum's and mine. Thankfully I got this set us when she was still in a reasonable enough state of mind to get...

If the house is less than 10yrs old and was built by a registered builder then it will be covered by the Nhbc scheme. It doesn't matter that the builder is now bankrupt. I think I would be seeking...

Hi Imme
Welcome to TP. I hope you will find all the support and help you need on here. Its been a real lifeline to me over the past year or so.

Denial is a constant theme with dementia - both for...

Before I found TP I thought I was unique. By this I mean I thought I was the only one who had such a fractured relationship with my mother. I also didn't realise how many (mostly) women out there...

My mum is in the middle stages and still refuses to believe there is much wrong with her. She is more fixated on her arthritis than memory problems. She has incontinence issues, Hygiene issues, can't...

I can't comment for other suitations but in our case the fact that it was me who organised the flat for mum and mum never spoke to the housing association at all may have had a bearing. They knew she...

At present my mum flits between a care home and her sheltered housing flat. The home she goes to is about 20 miles away. There is another home ran by the same chain much nearer but they charge top-up...