Brucie

Over the years, coping with dementia in a loved one and ultimately visiting a care home frequently, one becomes accustomed to being in an environment where the people are less able to communicate, or to make sense in the normal way.

I have found this has greatly enlarged my empathy for those in similar situations, both residents and carers.

Strangely though, it has tended to decrease my ability to put up with those who are foolish, by design or inclination.
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Yesterday, one of the long term Filipino carers at Jan's home was retiring from full-time work, though she will continue there on a much reduced part time basis.

She wanted her leaving do to be with all the family she has come to know - fellow carers at the home, residents, family of residents.

Lunch yesterday was to be a special buffet for everyone who wanted to be there.

Interesting.

Working long hours in difficult circumstances - for...

I was greeted at the door of Jan's home today by a carer who said "I have bought some clothes for Jan".

Jan was always a very elegantly turned out lady but dementia compromises all dress codes. Clothes must be nice, but also practical both for washing, and for putting on the person, and removing.

For the first 6 years Jan was at the home I continued to buy clothes that I thought were appropriate, but we reached the stage where the carers said - "with...

Today I'm off to AS Central Office, so will be using public transport - however, normally I drive places outside of the immediate area of our house.

Since my Jan moved to her current care home in 2001, I estimate that I have driven nearly 116,000 miles to see her.

By my calculations, that is something over two months in the driving seat, and an approximate £10,000 in fuel, and I am not counting wear and tear on the car!

It isn't something I have a problem...

I arrived mid morning to see Jan today and the staff were in the process of wheeling her into "The Street", an atrium area, so I walked around the others in her 'house' to say Hi.

I said "Hello M----" to a lovely West Indian lady who is pretty far advanced in her dementia.

Suddenly, from apparently dozing, she beamed a huge smile at me, grabbed my hand with both hers, and said "Hello". She talked some more but I couldn't really make out...