digor45

I will be very pleased to have you as a friend.My husband has gone down hill very fast in the last two weeks and it is now 7nights since I had a full nights sleep.I am getting very tired and have come to think I may have to have some respite care (which I have refused up till now) but this has to be arranged through a SW and to say mine is rubbish is putting it mildly.It is two and a half weeks since the Dr,at the memory clinic sent in the request and I have had no word from her at all.Hope things are better for you and I am very pleased to hear from you any time.Shelah

HI Diane

I am Sheena and I live just out Stirling in Scotland. Mum died 19 months ago now. It was very very peaceful. Mum had VAD and many episodes where she lost consiouscness but never fitted. I am so sorry to hear about you husband, that must be so difficult as he is so young to be suffering so. While my Mum was youngish she was still in her seventies by the time the dementia damage became noticeable. Do you have any children? That was probably one of the hardest things for me, balancing visits to Mum with my twin sons. It is not an easy life for those of us who care for someone with this condition. (((((hugs)))) Sheena

Hi Diane!
They were expecting a frost last night (roads were gritted) but I don't think it happened - we've got glorious sunshine now (makes a change from rain rain and more rain)!
I go to see Mum about twice a week - she's been in the nursing home for about a month but they closed to visitors for 10 days to cope with a winter vomiting virus just after she moved in, so it's all still very new to me. There are many posts here on TP about the guilt monster - try not to let it get you. You are right that Gordon is where he can be looked after best, your job is to look after yourself and have enjoyable quality time with your husband when you visit him. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you now that he doesn't recognise you, but try to share with him the things he enjoys now.
About a signature to your posts here: at the top left of your screen it says "User CP", click there and then choose "Edit signature" from the menu down the left-hand side.
Cheers!
Val

Hello Diane! Thanks for your message. I am quite new to TP and have found it very helpful to read everyone's stories and advice. You are right - we are going through a grieving process even though our relative is still alive. My mother has recently been transferred to a nursing home after a nightmare summer being shunted through three hospitals. At the start of July I would not have said that she would be needing nursing home care by October, so for me it is all a big shock. I'd love to read your poem - is there some part of the forum where you could put it to share with everyone?
Thanks for the offer of friendship - I've added you to my list (I htink!).
All the best
Val

I think we are :-) You're now listed in my friends on the right hand side of the screen where you read your visitor messages - I'm not very good with that side of things either, and since I used to work in IT, I feel I should be!

I'm a bit better today - we have the CPN visiting us this afternoon, so we'll see how that goes. How are you? x

Hello, Diane - it's nice to meet you.

TP has saved my sanity on more than one occasion recently. My mother - who still lives with me and mostly still recognises me, although sometimes she talks to me about me as if I were another person - was diagnosed early this year; however, I think the short-term memory loss started about 6 years ago, and, with the benefit of hindsight, turned into something more serious around May last year. She has, however, started to deteriorate more noticeably over recent weeks.

It hurts because we love them, because we know we're losing them and we're grieving for that loss even though the body is still there - there are all sorts of reasons. I know what's coming, because her father had Alzheimer's in the early 90s: we didn't understand really what it was then, but he declined to the point of not knowing us at all.

Friends are always welcome, Diane. You will find plenty of support and advice here.

With very best wishes,
Christine