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Lynrogers

October 20 2009

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Dad lives in the EMI unit of a British Legion home and has been there since June 2007. I have recently read Contented Dementia by Oliver James and wanted to practice the principles on Dad. I had already found out for myself that Dad became stressed when either faced with being asked lots of questions, being rushed or challenged. Reading this book confirmed this so I wanted to try and see things more from Dad's point of view. It is much harder than it sounds as I usually start by bombarding Dad with lots of questions. How are you, what did you have for lunch etc so had to keep checking myself. Dad proudly told me he had just had lunch and that the food had improved a lot. He tried to describe what he had had for lunch which was always some meat and custard. On a previous occasion I had taken Dad an Airfix model of a Spitfire aircraft. It was a clip together model which Dad was able (just about) to put together himself. Albiet there were always, as he told me, bits missing from the box. He was very proud of it and I made a lot of fuss and said how good it was. I had found another model for him of a German aircraft. I wasn't sure how he would react to it being German but he seemed genuinely pleased. I also took a bottle of Head and Shoulders Shampoo. On my last visit he told me Head and Shoulders wasn't made anymore and he couldn't buy it. I produced a bottle and told him I had managed to find somewhere that sold it which he accepted and was thrilled to have some more. Dad has a small flat screen Sony telly in his room. It is usually on when I arrive but he had the radio on when I went it. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I asked Dad if the telly was OK and he said it was broken and had been for two weeks. I said perhaps I should have a look and see if there was anything I could do. It turned out the sound was turned down (Dads sight and hearing are bad) and the batteries had run out in his remote control so he thought the telly was broken. I told him the batteries must be faulty. He was relieved the telly was ok. I think he thought he had broken it. Dad often thinks he is still in Edinburgh where he used to live and, just as I was leaving, said he was thinking of going to the Usher Hall to see a concert as he hadn't been for sometime. I said I was sure we could arrange something when the weather gets better. He accepted this and I left him happily looking at his model aircraft.

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