Nan2seven

This morning I typed up two pages of A4 between 6.30 and 7.30 and was on the point of sending them to my blog when I hesitated. Then I printed them and then deleted them. I looked at them and saw them for what they were: one long moan about Brian getting up day after day at five o'clock, shaving, dressing, (not showering), getting his breakfast (albeit a simple one of cereal and coffee). He was fully dressed this morning and getting his breakfast at ten past five, for example.

Should I not be glad that he can dress himself? Get his own breakfast? Even argue with me about getting up at whatever time he pleases? There are folks out there with dementia who have ceased to be able to speak, or understand what is said to them, let alone dress or do anything in the kitchen.

He sleeps or catnaps through the day, whereas I never do, never can. His sleeps last anything from twenty minutes to four hours and I cannot predict the length. Two days ago he woke when I was upstairs on the computer, went out to the local shop and bought cakes to eat with his coffee. I only heard him coming back in. He could not understand why I was so worried about not having heard him leave. "Please don't go out again without telling me" I said. He laughed as though that were an entirely unnecessary arrangement.

Some evenings he wants to go to bed between nine and ten, but I dread him getting up even earlier the next day. Others he stays up past midnight. But he is always up at around five in the morning.

And I see that this, too, is little more than a moan about him getting up too early every day ....