flowerpot

It's seems like a long time since we had the respite not just a few weeks. Our weekend was lovely but OH not happy, very depressed. Looking at the photos that I took he looks awfully sad.

The first week MiL was back she had a UTI and was peeing for England Wet clothes, wet bed you name it, it was wet Back to normal now though and she's doing fine.

OH not so good still in bed as I'm writing this. He suffers from Bipolar and has just had his tablets changed and isn't doing too well. He's drinking too much in the evening to try and cope and I just don't know what to do. I have an emergency number for help but don't want to use it as I don't want him sectioned or anything awful like that. He has a great understanding of the condition and tries very hard to lead as much of a 'normal' life as he can, but it's so difficult and even more so for me having to see him suffer.

I've just been to clean up the bathroom after giving MiL a wash and have found that I washed her in hair conditioner I thought at the time it was odd that there was no lather and no wonder Oh well she smells nice anyway

I['m sitting here feeling very sorry for myself and just don't know how to cope anymore. It's our daughters 21st birthday next Wednesday and I'm having the family and friends over a week Saturday to celebrate but OH says that he doesn't want anyone here as its an invasion of his privacy I need to have this gathering for me as I always back down and don't want to this time. He wouldn't let me have a party for my 50th (three years ago) and I don't want him to spoil it for our daugher.

I'm writing this as a blog as I really just want to get it all of my chest before I burst with frustration.

I don't want to sound mean and awful about my OH but the Bipolar is ruling our lives and I don't want it to. I suffer from depression occassionally and I know that Bipolar is so much worse and what he suffers from is really bad he has seriously mixed episodes of feeling depressed and high all at the same time.

Thanks for reading don't worry I'll be ok......I always am.....think I must have super duper coping strategies somewhere that always seem to see me through whatever life throws at me