thanx for the message. my in laws think i have all the answers as i worked in care with people with AD. my husband has 4 other sibblings but they do not want to know to much hard work for them, they to think that i should be able to cope. they forget that i have my own health problems but i just get on with it. i have three grown children from my first marriage and 4 grand children. i have enough on my plate and come july when my son goes to afghanistan again i will have more than enough to worry about. i think that when the time comes for her to go into care my husbands brother and sister will blame me but guess what they can say what they want at least i was ther when needed maybe a little stressed and tired but at least i tried when they did not. thanx again for the support