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Jillyjom

Im losing my mum, my best friend.

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The last time i saw my mum was about 6 months ago, i live in Devon, mum and dad live in London. Dad is her full time carer now, and has done a brillient job for the past 4 years. Mum has Altheimers and Dementia.
I cant begin to tell you what i think of this disease, only to say that it is a human destroyer, sole destroying and destroyer of all family and close friends.
I dont like to use the word Destroyer marginally either.
As an only child, mum was my best friend, agony aunt and my monument of strength. She was the hub of our family, the laughter from the kitchen, the wonderful cook and loving mum and wife, but now all that has disapeared before my eyes. What was once a strong and independent woman is just a breathing shell of that same person.
My dad too was my rock all through my life, he was my teacher of life, he gave me understanding and decsipline, a grounding for my life to come, infact he gave me all that i am today.
He was a strong man, but now the strength he has left goes into caring for mum.
The conversations dad and i used to have were incredible, about everything and anything, we used to banter and laugh, those times i now cherrish so very much.
When i speak to dad now, all i hear is a broken man, a man on the edge, frightened of the future. Hes screaming inside asking where his beautifull wife and sole mate has gone, the woman who loved and cherrished him from the day they met, but now all he sees is the same shell of that woman that i see.
The person who we love and adore now, shouts and screams, punches and kicks, wont listen to dad in any way shape or form, wont wash and keep clean, change her clothes, go to the toilet except on the floor and wont let dad have a single nights sleep.
What has this disease done....Its taken my beautiful mum, my best friend away. I love you mum xxxx

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Comments

  1. supernurse's Avatar
    Dear Jillyjom

    I was sorry to hear of your plight, all I can say is that you need to hold it together for your Dad, try and get some help with counselling if you can talking to others in the same position is also helpful but believe me losing someone you love is not an easy route, my husband has alzheimers and our relationship has changed forever but I have to keep going on for your own sanity. Dont cope on your own keep in touch

    All the best
    Supernurse
  2. chana's Avatar
    i know. you dont have to say more. i lost my mom 5 months ago to this horror. does it ever end? will it ever end? i hope in time, but my mom is gone and i feel your pain . my mom was also m,y best friend. my dad is also gone--cancer. its so hard. what do you say? i dont know. i want to say the right things , but what are they? why--i ask why? such a horrible desease. my mom was my best friend and i have no parents. i cry, but i also know my parents would want me to go on. i try. i have 2 bleeding ulcers froim my ordeal. i just know. i just know how you feel. i feel it too. i always will.