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lisa1

I cant' believe she's gone

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by
lisa1
on 11-11-2011 at 09:09 AM (422 Views)
IT's just been so hard , some days i feel not too bad, today and yesterday I feel awful. I think it's because I'm tired.
I think now that I didn't appreciate her when she was well. Mum worked so hard for us all and we all turned out alright! I suppose I'm feeling guilt? I did everything I possibly could for her all along and I miss her so much. She was dying gradually, and at each stage I was grieving for that part of her that had died. It's been a hard road. Funny how I've had a back problem that goes back to when she took ill. I'm attending physio now and it should be fine soon.
I'm just lost and now it's hitting home that both my parents are gone and I feel lonely.
It's early days and I'm just taking each day at a time. It's hard to keep going.
Thank goodness for TP.Name: Rona's photo.jpg Views: 28 Size: 89.8 KB

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Tags: grief, guilt
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Comments

  1. together's Avatar
    I agree,thank goodness forTp to release those feelings. Hope you manage a reasonable weekend. Yes things are worse when we're not 100% aren't they? Just started anti biotics for chest infection but a new dr quizzed me why i'm on beta blockers. Trying to explain the stress of losing mum and still ongoing he just looked puzzled and I felt stupid!
    A lovely photo, I think I said before I made an album of Mum on TP,feelings I couldn't write elsewhere as keep emotions to myself.
    Hope things improve for you, my answer is to keep busy, but then I get exhausted!!
    Katherine x
  2. Tess810home's Avatar
    So glad you posted this. Mum is still with me but each day I see more and more or her leave. She too is dying gradually in front of me and like you did for your mum, I do all that I can to keep her well and happy. Unsuccessfully mostly. I try to imagine what life will be like without her and it hurts so much. My only solace now is knowing I am doing all I can to care for her now that she needs someone who loves her so much. I do not know how I will cope when she goes but, like you, I think I will find support and guidance through these blogs. My memories of the mum I had sustain me now and I hope they will in the future. I hope you gain some support from the knowledge that you did all you could and she is now at peace. I guess we have to find our own peace as time goes on. Wishing you well.